Do you ever feel less than?
Maybe you feel like there’s never enough of you for your kids. You are overwhelmed trying to fill all the holes, be the mom and the dad to your kids, be the chef and the chauffeur, be the disciplinarian and the joyful mom, be the provider and the protector.
Maybe you feel like you are not enough for your job. You give 100% when you are on the job, but your boss wants more. You are torn when your kid calls in the middle of the day sick, and you have to figure out how to keep your job and care for your kids. You feel like you give so much at work that there’s not enough to give to your kids.
And maybe you even feel like you are not enough for God. You feel like you failed at marriage. You feel like you are failing at parenting. You feel like you are failing in life. You simply feel like you are a failure.
Can I let you in on something?
You are enough!
(Actually, you are more than enough through Christ Jesus!)
You are a masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus to do good works that He prepared before time began (Ephesians 2:10). You are chosen (Ephesians 1:11), chosen to be His child. You are dearly loved (Colossians 3:12) by the God of the Universe. You are an Overcomer (1 John 4:4)!
I know it feels like you are not enough in this season of single parenting. I know it feels like you can never do enough, that there are so many things on the to-do list you can never get it all complete. But let me let you in on some secrets...
God Chose YOU.
It may not feel so great to imagine God choosing you for this life. I know you are probably thinking you would have gladly let Him choose someone else — anyone else! But there's a reason He chose you.
Look at Job 1. Before Job’s life fell apart, God had a conversation with Satan. God actually offered up Job for a series of trials because Job was a righteous man (Job 1:8). In our Americanized view of Christianity, it makes no sense that God would choose us to suffer. But Scripture is full of statements about the work God does in our lives through trials.
He develops perseverance (James 1:2).
He uses trials to prepare us for the work He has for us (Romans 5:3-5).
Trials teach us to depend on Him (1 Corinthians 1:28-31).
He humbles us and shows us the true condition of our hearts (Deuteronomy 8:2).
It may be hard to understand why God would allow suffering when you are in the midst of a trial, but if you cling to God and let Him have His way in your life, you will one day be able to look back and see His work clearly.
His grace is sufficient.
The first sermon I heard after I learned of my husband’s affair was entitled You Can’t Handle It. How often have we been told that God will never give us more than we can handle? That statement is a distortion of 1 Corinthians 10:13 which says God will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear.
But temptations are different from trials. God never promised this life would be something we can handle because He never wanted us to handle this life. He always planned for us to cast our cares on Him (1 Peter 5:7) so He could carry our burdens for us.
This single mom life can be hard! We feel like we must be all things to all people. There’s never enough — money, time, energy, anything — to go around. Instead of trying to do it all, be it all, we simply need to hand it over to God and trust that His grace will be sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9) to carry us through, that His strength will be perfected in our weakness.
God fills in the gaps.
When we step back and realize God’s grace is sufficient, we can also learn to trust that God will fill in the gaps where we don’t have what it takes. I struggled with how to raise boys because I didn’t know how to teach them to be men. Guess what? Today, they are pretty amazing young men! They are strong and capable and independent and successful. Where I wasn’t enough, God was the perfect Father, standing ready and willing to fill in the gaps.
God didn’t make a mistake in allowing you to become a single mom. It’s not a role most of us would ever choose, but He stands near wanting to be what you cannot be for your kids. Remember, He loves your kids more than you ever could, and He is able to be the Father they need. Even if they can’t see it in the moment, one day they will look back and see clearly how He carefully tended to their every need.
In the book of Esther, we see how God allowed some horrible and terrifying events to elevate a young Jewish woman to the position of queen of a foreign nation. I’m sure she didn’t want to be taken from her family and thrust into the king’s harem, especially considering how the king had treated Queen Vashti. But, when an enemy sought to kill her people, Esther’s position was exactly what was needed to save the Jews. In God’s sovereignty, He placed Esther into a position where she could save her people. She was elevated to the position of queen for such a time as this (Esther 4:14).
We don’t know what God is doing in you and through you in this season of life. We can’t see the future, but we can trust that He has a purpose for your struggle. Trust that He will use this season for your good (Romans 8:28).
Come alongside God and let Him be all you are not!
FEELING OVERWHELMED?
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MEET THE AUTHOR
Dena Johnson watched as her perfect life as a pastor’s wife crumble, as she suddenly found herself raising three young children on her own. As she struggled to navigate the tumultuous waters of single parenthood, she discovered a deeper faith and an intimacy with the Savior. She has found purpose in her pain as she uses her experiences to help others find beauty in a broken life. Dena is now the founder of Dena Johnson Ministries and has a heart to help single moms through coaching, writing, and speaking.
Connect with Dena on her website at denajohnson.com.
WHO WE ARE
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit thelifeofasinglemom.com.
