There are approximately 15 million single parents in the U.S. today raising approximately 25 million children. While statistics vary from report to report, it is estimated that approximately 2 out of 3 single parents in the United States do not actively attend a local church anywhere. This news should be sobering to the body of Christ, as we consider its residual impact on current and future generations. We know that the Bible implores Believers not to “forsake the gathering.” (See Hebrews 10:25.) So, why are we seeing a mass exodus from regular church attendance by single mothers (and many other demographics, for that matter)?
The Life of a Single Mom® has served more than 1,000,000 single mothers since our inception and have worked with more than 2,000 churches of a variety of sizes and denominations. In doing so, we have learned a few reasons why single mothers cite that they are not actively attending church (or things we have discovered through working with them). Here are a few:
- Many single parents fear they will be judged. When unplanned pregnancy or divorce led a single mother to her circumstances, there can be great shame associated with that life circumstance already, particularly when the parent has walked with the Lord for some time and knows the Bible. As this journey unfolds, these parents may fear not being accepted by the congregation or church for past mistakes (when applicable).
- Many single moms feel that they do not belong. With 2 out of 3 single moms not actively attending church, many mothers who do decide to go could fear that there is no place for them. They may may feel that they are the only one or struggle to find a place that feels like home, e.g. a specific Bible study or Sunday School class. Therefore, they struggle to find a place where they fit in. Many churches do not offer a specific Bible study or ministry for single parents, where they can easily find connection with their peers. As is the case with all of us, we want to be with people who understand our journey. Single mom support groups provide that environment. This is why The Life of a Single Mom works so hard to help churches start effective single moms’ support groups through evangelism and discipleship methods that work! (Please note that while offering single moms’ ministries and specific single parenting events in the church are valuable, we are certainly not suggesting that single parents do not also enjoy fellowship in other ministries, as well. It simply helps to have an intentional place to connect regularly with other single moms!)
- Satan. In short, Satan’s strategy on the earth is to kill, steal, and destroy. He seeks to isolate single mothers so that they become overcome with depression, stress, and loneliness, often daily lying to them, convincing them that they are not seen by the Lord and not wanted by the church. We would all do well to be reminded that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against unseen evil. (See Ephesians 6:12.) The ruler of the Kingdom of Darkness is actively launching spiritual attacks to tear down the family, attack parents, steal the future of our children, and continually wreak havoc in every corner of the earth. We must be diligent in our prayer life for these families (and many others). As he attempts to convince single mothers that there is no place for them in the church, we must not only active pray against his attacks, but create warm environments to welcome these families through Bible studies, outreaches, and focused events.
We know that single parents can arrive at their journey in a variety of ways. Further, we know there are single parents who are thriving in their local churches. We likewise know there are churches offering hope, as the hands and feet of Jesus, in their communities through single moms’ ministries and outreaches. We dare not paint every church or single parent with the same brush or suggest that the entirety of single parents don’t go to church or the entirety of churches do not effectively minister to their needs.
We thank God that many of the churches around the country have recognized the need to reach out to single parents in their communities. Many have understood the importance of the church offering stability and hope to single parents, particularly fatherless youth. If you are a single mom in need of encouragement of resources, visit HERE. If you represent a church that would like to launch or grow an effective single moms’ ministry, Bible study, support group, or event, visit HERE.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with thousands of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served more than one million single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University®, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit thelifeofasinglemom.com.
