“You’ll find someone before you know it.”
A well-meaning friend thought he was encouraging me. However, these words set the course of my early journey as a single mom. They became my marching orders. Deep inside, I heard, “You are on your own. You have to find a husband. You are no one without someone.”
What I didn’t realize then was that I was being set up to be discipled by the world.
Proverbs 14:12-13 (ESV) tells us, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” The Message version says it in extremely straightforward language, “There’s a way of life that looks harmless enough; look again—it leads straight to hell. Sure, those people appear to be having a good time, but all that laughter will end in heartbreak.”
My friend’s misguided words steered me away from God’s way. It was an easy trail to follow. Non-Christians and Christians all around were stumbling through being newly single. It would take me 10 years to learn how to single parent in a way that honored God.
You see the world’s way is really Satan’s way. The evil one wants to lead us away from our First Love and our calling as parents. Worldly discipleship only brings sin, loneliness, rebellion, more brokenness, and isolation from the One who truly loves us.
In John 10:10 scripture says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
Being discipled by Jesus brings abundant life.
The marching orders for a Christian single mom sounds more like; “This is a shock to you, I know, but God is here for you. He will never leave you. He will never abandon you. He knows you and your family’s needs. Your family is secure in Him. He will provide and be with you. He will teach you true love, faithfulness, friendship. And if the Father’s will is for you to remarry, you will recognize His choice for you through the His teaching and guidance. Keep your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith (Hebrews 12:2).
How does a new or struggling single mom know what to do next - especially when hurting from rejection, loneliness, and decision overload?
The most important element to remember is to do this with others.
Find a group here at The Life of a Single Mom or at your church. Find a group that understands that God’s ways are not the world’s ways. Determine to walk by faith and not by feelings, deficiencies, or even tough times.
To find the support group near you, click the button below. Simply plug in your zip code, and get connected!
Living in the center of God’s Will may not always feel comfortable. It is uncomfortable to say “no” to yourself or your children vs. saying “yes” to the clamoring feelings of instance gratification or loneliness.
Life may actually be in turmoil, yet you may be right in the center of God’s will.
Coaching Tips:
Does this choice line up with the Word of God?
What scripture or biblical scripture are you using?
Does your soul have peace with this choice?
You may have to still your soul and mind to sense the Spirit.
Do other Believers agree with my choice?
Ask mature believers or leaders that have experience in single parent life.
Meet the Author
Stacey Jeannett is the founder and director of Single Parent Focus, dedicated to walking and encouraging single parents to “seek God first” in all areas of their lives. Stacey holds a Master’s in Counseling and is a Life Coach through her ministry, Single Parent Focus.
A single parent for most of her daughter’s life and making plenty of mistakes, Stacey cried out to God and He pulled her from the pit of self-sufficiency. Remarried, she now has a blended family of four, along with two son-in-laws, and three adorable grandchildren that call her GG.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit thelifeofasinglemom.com.
