Becoming a single mom felt like moving to a different planet.   Everything seemed so strange and totally out of place from the life I once knew.  I was lost and had no concept of who I was anymore.  When I looked in the mirror I saw a strange new reflection staring back.  I constantly asked myself, “Who am I as a single mom now?”

If you were once married and now are divorced or widowed, your entire identity may have been based off of being a wife.  You may wonder who you are now since you don’t have the title of wife anymore.  Perhaps you have never been married, or are a teenager and now find yourself in a new role: single motherhood.  Just because your position, role, title or marital status has changed, nothing has changed about who you are. 

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Most single mothers don’t want to even face the reality of being a single mom, let alone carry that title. Another title single moms tend to carry is the “Scarlet D” from being divorced.  We take off the false title of “Mrs.” and exchange it for baggage, feeling unwanted, rejected, or become just a “package deal” with our children. 

You Are Who He Says You Are.

In Genesis 3:8-11 Adam hid himself from God in the garden because he was afraid for he was naked.  The Lord asked him, “Who told you that you were naked?”  The same question is being asked to you right now, “Who told you that you were a looser, or a package deal?”  That is not the way that God sees you.

I hated myself as a new single mom.  I constantly said, “Who is ever going to love me?  I have all this baggage and I am a divorced loser with a child.”  Because I hated myself so much, I lowered the standards in men I got into relationships with.  I never thought I was worthy enough to have something better come into my life for myself or my son.

I was letting my feelings decide what I thought was the truth about myself, and the way I behaved was based on what I believed about myself.  This way of thinking in wrong!  One of the greatest things I believe I ever heard God say to me in my spirit is, “Lori, the only person you are is the one I say that you are.”  The more I read God’s word, my eyes were opened to how wrong my thinking was.  I could not find anywhere in the Bible where God said I am a loser, baggage or a package deal.

What I did find though, that changed my life and my sons, are these beautiful words of how God sees me.  I am “the apple of His eye.” (Deut 32:9-10) I am a chosen race, a royal priesthood. (1 Peter 2:9)

With so many voices shouting for our attention it is best to do what Matthew 17:5 says:

“While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”


Lori Little is the author and founder of Hope & Help for the Single Mom and mother to her son, Eric. Lori became a single mom when her son was just two years old. While studying her new Bible, the Lord showed her twenty-one verses of scripture, and told her if she followed them, everything would be okay for her and Eric. Lori built a model and life plan from these verses, and did her best to live them out and teach them to her son. These twenty-one verses will teach single moms and their children to flourish in the midst of their overwhelming circumstances; leading them to live a life of purpose and meaning, focus and order, balance and harmony. Read more about Lori and Hope & Help for the Single Mom at


The Life of a Single Mom logoThe Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, we have worked with more than 1,500 churches & community groups to start or improve a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond. We have a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, and online instructional videos to support ministry leaders who lead single moms. Our single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through a number of projects including: Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, and a variety of programs throughout the U.S. For more information, visit