“He lays the beams of His upper chambers in the waters; He makes the clouds His chariot and rides on the wings of the wind.” Psalm 104:3 (NIV)
Are you a single mom that finds yourself consumed by emotion because of everything you have going on? As I followed my 19-year-old son to his doctor’s appointment, I watched his hand stretch out the window against the wind. I was immediately reduced to tears as I hit the gas to get a closer look. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
Welcome the Wind when Consumed by Emotion
This moment took me back to one of my most painful nights as a single mom. Full of tears and anxiety, I looked in my rear-view mirror to see my then 2-year-old son doing this very thing from his booster seat – hand stretched out, his chubby little fingers welcoming the wind and the forcefulness of it, curls blowing around his face, and his baby sister sound asleep next to him. Just pure joy, peace, and comfort.
It was at that moment, when I realized that even though the three of us were now homeless and would be sleeping in our car that night, we would be ok. God was with us and He would work all things out for His good.
I pulled up behind him at a stoplight and was quickly reminded of my own childhood driving in our family car – windows down, the wind hitting my face, and demanding my full attention.
Hearing nothing but the force of the wind, left little room for negative thoughts and destructive voices telling me I’m worthless and stupid.
When You Have Nothing Left to Give
Relieved that I no longer had to breathe on my own, the wind became my oxygen for survival. It lifted me when I had nothing left to give. It replaced my toxic air with peace, comfort, hope, and a strange sense of strength.
As my young adult life was caught up in addiction and one bad relationship after another, I had forgotten the wind was there to comfort me. Until one sober, lonely, and depressive night, I got in my car and drove. Windows down, hair blowing, and I was no longer suffocating from my life and circumstances, as the wind was once again breathing life back into me.
Are You Alive In Christ?
Only this time, I knew exactly what this was – this was God. I didn’t know Him yet, but everything in my soul was telling me that I was being filled with the Holy Spirit.
I wondered if this is what it felt like to be alive in Christ, to be loved by Christ, to know that without me – this was just the wind. It was apparent that God wanted me fully connected to Him.
I gave my life to Christ that night and my life was forever changed.
So many years have passed, and the thought of my little ones now grown and leaving for college is weighing heavy on my heart and mind. Following my son this morning, my head was filled with a constant chatter of doubts, worries, and bouts of uncontrollable sadness.
Consumed by my mess of emotions, God gave me a front row seat to a reminder of His faithfulness, goodness, and grace. My son – hand stretched out the window, welcoming the wind, quickly reminded me that God’s got this. It’s all safely in His hands.
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Shaylah Coogan is a writer, speaker, abuse survivor, and once a homeless single mom of two in diapers. She launched There Once Was This Girl in 2012 to encourage and empower women who are parenting alone. It is through this platform where she openly shares the messy and most ugly parts of her life as a single mom and how she survived through a deepened relationship with Christ. Shaylah spent years in ministry walking side by side hundreds of single moms, helping them uncover their profound worth, purpose, and full potential through the freedom that can only be found in Christ. Shaylah lives in North Texas with her husband and two adult children who are now in college. You can find Shaylah at www.thereoncewasthisgirl.com.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. Our primary focus is in helping churches and communities launch single mom’s ministries and have done so more than 1,500 times! Our support groups connect 71,000 single mothers each year to a local church. We are a one-stop shop for all things single mom ministry related. For more information, visit http://www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.