I find myself worried at times about the unseen in my children’s lives. Those things that keep me up at night or even the stories shared with me by my friends and family and how their lives changed because of one choice. I remember being told as a new mother that we carry our children in our hearts when they are babies, but as they grow we carry them on our hearts. Today that statement reflects the reality of truth for so many. As my children grow the more I ponder if I have taught and trained them well.  Have they received the truth I shared with them during our personal time over the years or will they be reminded of those moments when we shared and discussed the news and incident that people make that could have been avoided only if they thought about the consequences first? Parenting rather single or married is tough and you will never perfect parenting without making mistakes or wondering about the “What if”.

As I raise my boys I try to teach them to be gentlemen, loving, kind, respectful, considerate and honest. I try to think of things before it happens to protect and shield them daily without a blink because for me it’s my duty. I know I am not supermom with special powers to set an invisible protector around my family 24-7, but if I could I would. The well-being of my children’s emotionally and culturally states are important not only to me but to society. As a single mother the responsibility to care and education my family is heavy load and there are days I second guess myself but most of the time God has confirmed that I am on point because his word is my guiding light for my family.


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My families “What if” Topics:

  • Discuss national news topics that could impact your children’s judgment. What if my children were involved in a sexting scam at school?
  • Review the sex offenders list with your children as well as inappropriate touching and conversations. What if my children are face to face with a sex offender or a teacher and student crush?
  • Talk with your children about secrets. The difference between dangerous secrets and those that are for laughs only. What if my child’s friend is being abused and they were asked not to tell?
  • Teach your children how to be a friend that cares and protects. What if your child knew their friend’s family were struggling and needed help or even a stranger?
  • Explain to your children what sexual harassment is and the dangers behind it. What if your child said something inappropriate or is the victim of inappropriate language?
  • Breakdown respect and why respect is necessary for everyone regardless of age, color, religion and creed. What if your child was disrespected by a peer or an adult or being disrespectful and the power of the tongue?
  • Remind your child to stray from the truth because at the end Gods word will stand. What if your child was asked to compromised their faith because of a new law or subject in school?

These are only a few topics that are the norm in my home.  I usually find the time for discussion early in the morning, riding home from church or right before bedtime.  When the Holy Spirit nudges me to speak I speak and I require my children to listen because it will save their lives or maybe they will save a friend’s life.

The “What if’s” will happen and we as parents have to prepare ourselves and our children in advance.


lavedajonesphotoLaVeda Jones is founder of Professional Services and Mentoring for Single Parents (PSM), Nfp (formerly known as Praying Single Mothers). She is author of Raising A Prince Without A King. LaVeda is a native of Mobile, Alabama and a longtime resident of the Chicago Metropolitan community. With a lifelong passion for the arts, LaVeda holds a Bachelor of Fine Arts from the International Academy of Design. In keeping with her love for art and children, she spent ten years as a teacher. She has a heart for people and is a leader known for her gift of servant leadership, which has served many ministries in the past 22 years. She also serves as a Board Member of Loving Arms Youth Foundation. 





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