What Did He Die For? by Amanda Carroll

“Jesus did not die for you to be angry and bitter.” My pastor said that yesterday at church, and my jaw dropped.

I had just driven to church in tears, praying, telling God how exhausted I was, and begging him to bring me someone to sit with that day. As a divorced mother with 3 children, I have grown tired of sitting alone in services. I miss having someone next to me holding my hand. I was bitter and angry.

My oldest daughter, Emily, (7) could tell that something was wrong, and asked, “mama can I sit with you in big church today?”
It’s amazing how God answers your cries. It may not be exactly the way I wanted Him to at the time, which was manifest a Prince Charming that loves God and wants to take on my and my brood. But, He reminded me that He has already given me companionship, and a task to raise my children to know, love, and serve Jesus too. It’s not about me. He is the ultimate Prince Charming.

After my pastor said that, I started writing a list on the offering envelope (forgive me it’s all I had) answering what Jesus did die for. If He did not die for me to walk around being bitter and angry. Then what did He die for?

Here’s the list I came up with:
joy
forgiveness
life without worry or anxiety
the ultimate love
abundant life
I’m not going to waste that sacrifice being bitter and angry, and frankly, a bad example.

I had come to church begging to feel loved, and left feeling fulfilled, and holding my daughter’s hand.

What would you add to the list?

Amanda Carroll calls herself a “Professional Mother” and is a single parent of 3 children under 7. Her family’s mission statement is to “Work hard, play hard. See needs, and meet them. Change the way the world sees God one life at a time.” She is the midday host and on-air personality on the international Christian radio network, K-LOVE. 

2018-06-12T14:12:50+00:00October 29th, 2013|Amanda Carroll, Help For Single Moms|4 Comments

4 Comments

  1. Danielle Grubbs October 29, 2013 at 1:18 am - Reply

    He died for complete forgiveness! Not just of our sins,but that we would learn how to truly forgive those who hurt us!

  2. Danielle Robertson October 29, 2013 at 1:57 am - Reply

    I started crying when I read that… I’m still crying really hard. I am a single Mom, I’ve always been a single mom and I always sit by myself at church. My seat is front and center, I have a regular seat, but it is always alone, by myself. I am ok with that because I know God is with me, I can feel His prescence. But the feelings that you spoke of are how I feel every week and I wish somebody knew that. I wish I knew that! The begining of this story just really hit me hard. I am very blessed, I am so blessed, I have everything that I need… I would just like someone to sit with me at church. – In Christ Always – Danielle

    • Madonna December 18, 2013 at 9:03 pm - Reply

      When I come in the back of the church, by myself, I deliberately look for other women sitting alone. And I sit next to them 🙂
      I don’t know for sure if they’re single…but, it doesn’t matter.

  3. susan October 30, 2013 at 8:08 am - Reply

    amanda,
    my heart aches for you and those that experience this pain while only at church…. the one place you should feel built up. my decree is not signed sealed and delivered but my exit out of the church i was in, and deliverance into a new beautiful one {where i sit alone} is not a problem. in fact, i’m just thankful to be there alone, and not attached to some social predator/false convert who fooled everyone at the last church. not rubbing it in, and really grieved for all those that feel this way because i have triggers that undermine my emotions too. i’ll never get used to the moments my boys treat me crappy egged on by their dad. does this help? there are some pretty sick “in tact” marriages out there in church land and everywhere else. if half the christian marriages end in divorce, how many remaining ones are sick, toxic, and/or abusive? i love how God provided your daughter as the answer to your prayer. please don’t feel alone at church, all us single moms are sitting right there with you. we’re gonna do this, and do it well.

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