“Jesus did not die for you to be angry and bitter.” My pastor said that yesterday at church, and my jaw dropped.

I had just driven to church in tears, praying, telling God how exhausted I was, and begging him to bring me someone to sit with that day. As a divorced mother with 3 children, I have grown tired of sitting alone in services. I miss having someone next to me holding my hand. I was bitter and angry.

My oldest daughter, Emily, (7) could tell that something was wrong, and asked, “mama can I sit with you in big church today?”
It’s amazing how God answers your cries. It may not be exactly the way I wanted Him to at the time, which was manifest a Prince Charming that loves God and wants to take on my and my brood. But, He reminded me that He has already given me companionship, and a task to raise my children to know, love, and serve Jesus too. It’s not about me. He is the ultimate Prince Charming.

After my pastor said that, I started writing a list on the offering envelope (forgive me it’s all I had) answering what Jesus did die for. If He did not die for me to walk around being bitter and angry. Then what did He die for?

Here’s the list I came up with:
joy
forgiveness
life without worry or anxiety
the ultimate love
abundant life
I’m not going to waste that sacrifice being bitter and angry, and frankly, a bad example.

I had come to church begging to feel loved, and left feeling fulfilled, and holding my daughter’s hand.

What would you add to the list?

Written by: Amanda Carroll

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