On any given day, you will find me doing what many of you are doing even now, multitasking. We are women who fill our days with many pursuits, the list of which is ever growing and always evolving. Our roles and tasks range from the marvelous to the mundane, from having breakthrough moments teaching your children to cleaning up unmentionable goo from the crevices in your couch. My days are robust with raising my two children, serving in student ministry at my local church, and traveling the globe to teach and preach the gospel. You can understand how deceptively easy it is to for me to derive my validation from any or all of those roles and the people I serve in them.
It seems natural to need someone, your boss at the office, your friends, your church family or other single moms to augment your feelings of usefulness or validity. If we are honest, most of us end our days asking ourselves, “Am I doing this right?”; “Am I raising my kids the best way?”; “Are my kids happy and fulfilled?”. Then we make the mistake of looking to others to answer those questions for us. The problem with looking to others to do what only God can do is that it will inevitably lead to hurt, pain and disappointment. The source of your validation matters.
I remember an experience I had at a posh restaurant with valet parking and all that jazz. During dinner, our hosts graciously mentioned we could get our parking ticket validated. Now I have to be honest, I have been known to be a coupon-clipping, Costco shopping, bargain deal-loving mama. Say, “Amen” if you’re with me! Upon leaving the restaurant, I happily handed my ticket to the parking attendant who said, “I’m sorry. Whoever validated your ticket at the restaurant did not have the authority to do so. Unfortunately, you still have to pay for parking.” You see, who you get your validation from matters, and there is always a price to pay if you are not validated by the right person.
People can encourage, inspire and motivate you but God must be preeminent, He alone has the authority to confer worth and to render your dreams as valid.
- As mothers, we are not just house dwellers, we are house builders. Be wise. Don’t delegate what only you can do.
- As ambassadors for Christ, He has given us children with whom to teach the Word. Step up your parental leadership. Don’t just tell your children about the Word; take them there. Don’t just talk about prayer; model it.
- As workers, be it church or a corporate environment, understand that the goal supersedes any role you play. Be excellent at work not just to hear “good job” from your boss, but rather “well done, good and faithful servant” from God.
Lovely one, nothing you do can undo the cross. So freely and securely dream on, build on and lead on.
Mercy Lokulutu is originally from Nigeria and carries with her a rich cultural and spiritual heritage. She is a wife to Marcus and mother to Isaiah and Ava-Pauline. She moved to Florida from Nigeria in 2001 to study nursing, met her husband in a thriving local church and together have continued to help build the local church, globally. For over a decade, Mercy has been teaching the Word of God, serving to build the local church and has traveled around the United States and the world to preach the gospel. Mercy’s love for God is evident in all she does and her desire is to help people come to know Jesus personally and activate the potential in them. She is the author of As You Wish: Living a Life of Surrender to God.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, we have worked with more than 1,500 churches & community groups to start or improve a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond. We have a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, and online instructional videos to support ministry leaders who lead single moms. Our single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through a number of projects including: Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, and a variety of programs throughout the U.S. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com