Unpacking Your Baggage by Joy Anisa

As I stare at the packed boxes lining the walls in our new home, reality sets in that these boxes will need unpacking. This is not our first move, and I must admit that some boxes have been moved from house to house and have never been unpacked. This time, I am determined to unpack every box and find a place for everything. As I consider all that should be unpacked, I think about my years as a single mom.

It can become the norm as a single mom for you to set aside negative emotions, or you may feel like there is no time to unpack these emotions. As easy as it can be to give excuses and justify reasons to keep the negative emotions packed up and hidden away, this only delays the inevitable. At some point, these emotions need attention and tenderness.

God cares about your emotions and wants to help you unpack them.

While He cares for you and created you to be emotional; it is never His plan for you to be held hostage by emotions. It is also not His plan for you to be run by your emotions (Ephesians 4:26-32). Single motherhood is filled with emotions: positive, negative, sad, happy, unpleasant, and the ones that you still have not figured out. Then there are those private emotions that are difficult to feel because of all the other feelings they cause. But God is ready and able to walk you through the murky waters of emotions and to help you unpack them. He can and He will! You can entrust every emotion that you feel and each one that overwhelms you to Him. The abandonment, the rejection, the loneliness, the anger, the disappointment, the guilt, the sadness, and many more can be entrusted to your loving Heavenly Father. 

Remember, you are called to walk in confidence of who you are in Christ, a warrior. Through Christ you can do all things (Philippians 4:13) even facing the most difficult of things. You are not alone and that voice telling you that you are alone is a lie and has no power over you. Now, you may be asking yourself, “How do I unpack my emotions?” Here's how...

STEP 1:

Name the Emotions You Want to Unpack

First, name the emotions. This removes the overwhelming dread and allows you to unpack them. A great tool to use is a Feeling Wheel (HERE). This helps you expand your emotional vocabulary.

STEP 2:

Identify Your Emotions

Secondly, identifying your emotions and knowing what event/person the emotion is attached to will help you know how to place the emotion. Using the following exercise can help you re-focus and give you a different perspective to allow you to unpack your emotions. (This is also a great journaling exercise too!)

“I feel (fill in emotion) about (person or event) because (explanation of response to feeling).”

STEP 3:

Invite God Into the Process

Last but not least, invite God into the process with you. Pray and seek the Lord as you walk through this process. This will take time, but the Creator of time will bring healing in the most beautiful way. Move toward being whole and emotionally healthy knowing that you can confidently entrust yourself to the almighty God who gives purpose to the most painful emotions. Learning to unpack them will give you freedom in your relationship with Him and others.

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