Trusting God Even When You’re Disappointed by Kim Anthony

During one of our biggest meets in Pauley Pavilion that year, I was warming up on vault and it happened again. I landed wrong, whipping my head backwards, but this time I briefly blacked out and stumbled off the mat. My whole career, I was taught to be tenacious and to press through any pain I felt to accomplish the goal.  And that’s exactly what I did.

I pressed through.

I competed on three events and was warming up on the fourth. Our team would finish up on the floor exercise, which was my best event. During warm up, I was doing a pretty simple tumbling pass and I felt and heard my foot pop. I thought that a bone had come out of joint, so I hopped over to the side of the mat hoping the trainer could put it back into place so I could finish my warm up. It didn’t cross my mind that it could be anything serious, but when I stood up and took a step, I experienced the most excruciating pain I’ve ever felt in my life. I was unable to walk and the reality quickly settled in that I would not finish the meet. Six weeks in a cast would be the outcome.

However, I still had hope that I would be able to come back from my injury in time to compete at nationals. Apparently, I tried to come back too soon, re-injured my foot, and it became clear that my career was over.  What I had hoped to be the ideal ending to a wonderful career turned into heartache and disappointment instead.

10 years later, I was inducted into UCLA’s Hall of Fame.  While I was sitting at the table reading through a list of things I had accomplished as a collegiate athlete, I remembered how my career ended, and a combination of sadness and anger welled up inside of me as I dealt with the disappointment and regret.

Then as quickly as those emotions took over, another thought interrupted my musings; a memory of a conversation I had with my coach when it became evident that I would not be able to finish out my senior year. He told me that the doctors who had examined my neck, to see why I was having that shooting pain, found that the whiplash I continued to experience had severely traumatized my neck. If I would have continued to experience those types of landings, I could have broken my neck and become paralyzed… or… I could have possibly died.

At that moment, I realized that the injury to my foot, which I had considered to be a curse all those years, was actually a blessing in disguise. Had I not gotten injured that day; I would have continued to compete and risked serious injury or even death with every vault I landed. But God! God intervened and redirected my life because His plans for me went far beyond a gymnastics career.  His plans would be above and beyond all that I could ask or think.

We all face challenges in life that may leave us short of reaching our goals or fulfilling our desires and expectations.

This can be difficult to deal with and hard to understand, especially when we’ve planned well, worked hard, and persevered. Sometimes we can even be doing what we believe God has called us to do. Yet, something happens that demands we change course. It can leave us confused, wondering if we really did hear God’s direction in the first place, or if it was all just a figment of our imagination.

What God taught me that day at the Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony was that He is sovereign and can be trusted. God can use challenges, tragedies, and even the sins of others to redirect our paths.

We see him do this in the book of Genesis with the life of Joseph. God uses the jealousy of his brothers and the false accusation of his boss’s wife to position Joseph where he needed to be in order to step into the place of leadership. There, God would use him to save the lives of many including his own family from which the Savior of the World would come. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for Joseph to go through that trial. However,  in the end he was able to see how God was at work when he was reunited with those same brothers who had sold him into slavery.  He told them:

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” - Genesis 50:20 (ESV)

When we are in the midst of difficult circumstances it’s not always easy to see how God is working things together for the good (Romans 8:28), but we can be assured that what we’re going through has not caught God by surprise. In time, we will be able to see the big picture like Joseph was able to do. But until then, we can trust God to have our back at all times. God can use tough times to help us develop the skills we need to carry out his purposes.

God’s plan and timing is best, and we can trust Him.

Consider that we serve a God who is not bound by times. He sees all things and he knows all things. He has a plan and a purpose for each of us and in his sovereignty, he will bring his purposes to pass. God had given Joseph dreams about what his future would hold. The path he had to take to live out those dreams was probably much more difficult than he imagined. But God knew what circumstances would produce the character and competence Joseph needed and he orchestrated them perfectly. He can and will do the same for us.

For 10 years, I harbored my anger and sadness about a career I felt ended too early.  But when God opened my eyes to the truth of his sovereignty and mercy, I realized that he used my injury to redirect me towards safety, so that I could carry out the future assignments he had for me. 

What about you? Are you going through some challenging times that have you angry, sad, or wondering why?

What if the difficulties you’re experiencing is what God is using to get you out of your comfort zone and redirect your path so you can move closer to his desires for you?

What if God wants to use the challenges you’re facing to develop, in you, the skills and mindset you need to be prepared for what he has in store for your future?

How would you respond differently to your circumstances if you decided to trust that God’s plan is best and he is in control, even when life seems out of control?