Time Management for Single Moms

These are just a few of the questions that millions of us, as moms, ask ourselves on a daily basis. In a demanding, busy lifestyle, many are battling exhaustion and how to manage our time more effectively to be the best moms we can be. Here are a few things to consider as you navigate the busy seasons of motherhood: 

The problem many moms face is simply have no real plan to start our day. Sure, we know that we need to get the kids dressed and fed and out the door to school, for example, but what other things need to be accomplished for the day? Check out Habakkuk 2:2. Receive vision. Write it down. Make it plan. Has your vision for the day come from the Lord? Are there things He wants you to accomplish to move you towards Kingdom purpose? Once we are intentional with asking of the Lord about our days, gathering a plan, and following it, the burden to do and be everything is lifted. When we lack a plan, typically we accomplish the first thing that arises. We move from problem to problem putting out fires and addressing whoever or whatever happens to be the loudest. The problem is that the first thing that arises isn't necessarily the priority of the day. If we aren't careful in planning, we will be pulled from task to task, never really accomplishing anything, but tired, nevertheless. Plan first. And here’s the interesting thing. The Lord’s instruction for your day, week, or month could very well be to slow down and be present in a moment or season. Receiving a plan from the Lord doesn’t always equate to busyness. Yes, there are seasons of hard work and specific instruction that requires a great deal of time commitment, but there are other instructions from the Lord that require waiting and being still. Those still moments are also special times of gleaning from His word and basking in His presence. These moments prepare us for other moments. 

Schedule quality time with the children. While the quantity of your time may be limited in certain seasons of life, the quality of the time matters. If you are a mother with children still in the home, and most of you are, you must recognize that this is merely a season of life. In the blink of an eye, it will be gone. Active parenting is a small season of life. Yes, you will always be a parent, but you will not be actively parenting the rest of your life. Take advantage of the little moments in the kitchen, the moments of quiet before bed, and the quick conversations in the car ride to school. Be intentional with how to connect with each child, regardless of their age. Schedule time in a way that conveys to your children that they matter. And again, scheduling time isn’t always about quantity (when you simply don’t have it to give), it is about quality time that was intentionally scheduled. Scheduling time alleviates the mom guilt that can come from having to work two jobs or wear many hats. To note, quality time can be what you are already doing, too. Cooking can be a necessary daily activity that can turn into family time with a pretend cooking show or contest attached. Cleaning the house can be fun when games and races and karaoke are added to the mix. The point is, don’t overthink it! Just be intentional to spend time with those kiddos. Look them in the eye. Ask them about their day. Learn who they are. 

Too many are going throughout the day-to-day demands of jobs, homes, and relationships in a way that is busy, stressed, overworked, etc. We are never really enjoying any moment. We're at home worrying about the job and at the job worrying about home. Make it a point to actually enjoy what you are doing. Learn to be content in every season. Recall why you took the job or what it provides for your family. Recollect how special your children are. Choose to focus on the joys of parenthood versus the to-do list. Choose to focus on why your job makes a difference in your community or in the quality of lives of others versus the actual tasks. Sometimes, an impromptu dance party at the copy machine may be just what you need to lighten the load, get a few laughs from colleagues, and actually enjoy your day! Fun makes the managing of the rest of the day easier. Laugh with the kids. Sadly, some of our children see us as more of a militant leader of the home than a mom who can laugh and cuddle and dance and sing and counsel and cry with them. We’ve become so busy creating order and routines that we missed the joy of the season. Take some time to enjoy the season you are in. It will quickly give way to a new one. (See Ecc. 3:1). Having fun and being intentional with that makes the demands on our time more manageable and life more rich. 

Well-rested sleepers are more productive throughout their workday than those who struggle to get sound sleep. The number one cause of insomnia (barring medical issues) is a busy mind. We lie awake thinking of the 22 things that need to be accomplished tomorrow. Hebrews 4:9 says there is a "special rest waiting for the people of God." Verse 11 in that same chapter further challenges us to enter into that promised rest given by our Lord. When we recognize that everything we have comes from God and that there is no challenge too big for Him, we're able to truly rest in His peace and trust in His provision. The more we know the character of our God and lean into fully trusting Him, the more we can rest in His plans for us. When we understand, fully, that He will not leave us to carry the tasks of our tomorrows alone, we can lay down the burdens of the day and get the sound sleep we need. And this type of rest supersedes the natural rest. We can be rested in our bodies (meaning we received 8 hours of sleep), but still deeply exhausted in our minds. Our spirits need the rest and hope of the Lord. Know who you belong to today.  

Whether it be business or personal, we are constantly bombarded with requests to add yet another thing to our list of daily activities. As the old saying goes, "Give the busiest man more to do. He'll always get it done." Bosses want us to oversee additional projects not on our radar without regard to our families. Church coordinators ask us to volunteer a few extra hours on Sundays. Friends invite us to countless birthday parties. And none of those things are wrong. However, it is perfectly acceptable to simply pray about what tasks should be on your to-do list today, this week, and so on, and say “no” when rest is needed. Family time and rest (as mentioned above) matter! 

Some of you may be wondering how to add Bible and prayer time to an already jam-packed schedule. Studies have found that what we think about during the first seven minutes of our day closely determines the outcome of the remainder of our day. If you wake up energized and excited about what God has planned for you today, filled with gratitude for the things you have been afforded, then you are more likely to emit that to others. The opposite is also true. Understanding that Bible time is manna from Heaven – meat of which we can feast - moves from being a burdensome religious task to a life-giving instruction for the day. It’s amazing how the Lord will the multiply our time in the day to get even more done, when we’ve given Him the first part of the day!