My daughter and I have very strong communication skills. I needed her to be able to express herself with words and effectively communicate what she was feeling while growing up in a single-parent home. I saw that, while being at home during a pandemic and virtual schooling, we both lacked in the area of listening. As a confident speaker, I gifted my daughter with what I found important. Yet, I think I missed the memo that listening is just as important and powerful. God’s word says: “Let everyone be quick to hear (be careful, thoughtful listener), slow to speak (a speaker of carefully chosen words and), slow to anger (patient, reflective, forgiving).” James 1:19
In my attempt to understand, I looked up the definition of the word “listen.” The word — listen — is actually a verb, which is an action word. It requires you to be quiet so you can be present and attentive to what you’re hearing, but some of us are just hearing a sound. For instance, moms, have you ever played back your favorite song growing up and listen to it as an adult? Yep, those words are just not what you thought they were! That is only one aspect of listening.
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I can give you another example. I, myself, hear noise coming from my daughter’s mouth, and I nod my head along, but I didn’t hear anything she said. Guilty! My daughter, being the bright girl she is, used my teaching method on me. She asked me to repeat what she said. Well… I told her I wasn’t listening. Of course, I didn’t hear the end of that one! She proceeds to say, “So moms don’t listen either?” Ouch!
Now moms, be honest, raise your hand as you read this; how many times have we told our children that they don’t listen to us? Raise them high! Yep, I laugh because it’s funny how God gives us mirrors to see the reflection of ourselves in our own kids.
Now, I am not saying that we will be a perfect listener. However, I know we can benefit from learning to listen.
Another thing I learned is we listen more in our moments of an offense or when we have un-forgiveness in our hearts. We only hear one thing, one way, but we are not listening to what is being said. If someone gives you a random compliment, how do you respond? I used to respond with my head down, and I would never make eye contact. I was broken from a past relationship, cheated on, and dealt with sexual harassment at my former employment. So I responded out of insecurity and thought that what I was hearing was harassment because of my past.
Did you know that listening can go beyond words? It’s the attention to body language, mood changes, behavior in our kids, and the silence in unsaid words. Listening is a beautiful art. It helps in every area of our lives, from our families and even our relationship with God. I believe listening helps us discern things that God wants to show us. I mean, what better person to teach us but the best listener ever — God.
This year I am attempting to become stronger in listening because I believe it’s another way that I can honor God.
Audrey Renee is a blogger, national motivational speaker, consultant, and momfluencer. She also offers one-on-one coaching to inspire single moms. Audrey is the owner of DearSingleMommy, LLC, an organization birthed from her desire to turn her pain into purpose. She has a heart to see every woman work toward finding forgiveness, healing, and walking in their true freedom.
Audrey takes her own testimony of walking away from a failed engagement, facing homelessness and almost sleeping in her car with her daughter, and turns it into a story to inspire women across the world.
Remembering the sisterhood she found while living in a transitional home, Audrey was inspired to start a single mom’s life group that has turned into a community of women healing and going after what God has for them. She believes that when women focus on self-care, it will develop a group of amazing mothers as well. For more information on Audrey, make sure to check out her website at dearsinglemommy.com.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.
