Having trouble starting over?
After a loss, starting over can be difficult, no matter what kind of loss it may have been: the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of a competition, the failure of a business. With each loss, heartache or failure, there is a choice to be made: you can either focus on what is no longer and remain stagnant, or try with every fiber of your being, to see the good in the loss no matter how difficult it may be, and move forward. You may be asking: how do you move on when the wind has been knocked out of you? Here are a few tips that you may find helpful:
1. Acknowledge the hurt. So many times, we push down how we really feel in order to “call things that be not as though they were” but never acknowledge how hurt or disappointed we really feel. The first step to even possibly thinking about moving on is acknowledging the pain we are feeling.
2. Pray about it. I encourage you to go to Him in prayer and tell him how you HONESTLY feel. I have spent many a time in prayer not sugar coating anything, from countless frustrating moments of being a single mother to how betrayed I felt when I lost my past boyfriend, (who I waited for years to cross my path) to cancer.
3. Counseling: Find someone reputable that you can not only talk to, but can relate to what you are going through. It is not taboo, but good mental health practice. If it is a failed business, talk to a business owner who has failed but is now prospering to learn from them. If it is a relationship, or loss of a loved one, don’t be afraid to talk to a counselor to work through the pain. If it is a competition of any kind, talk to a coach who can give you constructive feedback.
4. Make a plan: Start small. Start thinking of one thing that you can do each day to move forward. The first step in your plan may even be, take a break. Take some time to breathe and recover. Then put a plan in place to help you move out of your hurt. It can include reading a book or even calling someone else to encourage them. Do anything that forces you to think of something other than the loss. Continue to build the plan from there until eventually, the loss is a fleeting thought. Here is a free guide to help you through the goal planning process.
As destructive as forest fires can be, did you know that the ashes of the foliage act as nutrients that return to the soil, sunlight can now reach the forest floor encouraging new growth, and fires can even eliminate diseases or droves of insects that may have been causing damage to plant life? Oh yea, wildflowers also begin to bloom abundantly.
God never gives us more than we can handle. Know He has your back. Know He is faithful. Although a “fire” may have seemingly wiped out parts of your life, YOU ARE STILL HERE.
Bloom where you are planted my dear, bloom where you are planted.
Nicole is a Panamanian-American, single mother, dancer, published author, workforce development manager and motivational speaker. After graduating, she founded her own non-profit dance organization. Her experience in Sports and Entertainment, Radio, TV and the Performing Arts has spanned nearly 20 years. She has danced and cheered for four Professional and Semi-Professional sports teams, and her heart’s desire is to provide others with tools to overcome life’s challenges while pursuing their dreams. She is the founder of Game Day Prep 365 designed to aid people along their journey to seeing their dreams come to fruition. Connect at GameDayPrep365.com