You’ve been thinking about this day for years. Between memory-making and mild existential dread, you have navigated the wild ride of parenthood. Did you teach them everything? Who knows, but at least they can tie their shoes - hopefully! Over the past months, you’ve downloaded the checklists, bought the things, answered the questions, and selected the classes. You’ve imagined hauling boxes into a musty dorm room wondering if you bought everything they would need. Most of all, you’ve tried to prepare yourself and your child for this next phase of life, one that is both the beginning and the end. I understand, mom. I’ve been there, and here’s what not to do.
DON'T LET PRE-DROP OFF JITTERS STEAL YOUR JOY OR CLOUD YOUR PERSPECTIVE.
Oh how I wish I’d heard that when my daughter was heading to college. Those months leading up to the big day were some of the hardest of my life. I basically spiraled into an anxious, unraveling mess. I ordered things. Oh I mean ALL. THE. THINGS. I created a whole new category of retail therapy. All I knew was to ease my fear, I needed to order the 24-pack of highlighters. Regardless of whether she had ever ironed an article of clothing in her life, I suddenly felt she needed an ironing board like her life depended on it. Some days the most random things would show up and I wouldn’t even remember ordering them. Sometimes they showed up twice. The day a sewing kit, taser, and 10 rolls of scotch tape arrived, I knew I had a problem. Especially since I already had two sewing kits in the stash and she didn’t sew.
Beyond the ordering bonanza that was taking place in our home, I began teaching crash courses in safety, cooking, car repair, and plumbing. Who knew what she’d face in the deep darkness of a college campus. Preparation had reached comical levels.
Move-in day arrived and I hauled the stack (OK, truck load) of provisions up two flights of stairs to commence the dorm room transformation. Rugs, curtains, bedding and towels came flying out of their packages amidst the excitement of meeting roommates. What I first noticed was how fun it was to set everything up in her space. We laughed as we made dozens of trips back to the store for hooks and hampers we’d forgotten. How could I have forgotten anything given the close relationship I’d developed with Amazon the previous year? Nevertheless, we were having a blast and yet, I knew the moment I had dreaded was still to come.
As we put the finishing touches on her new space, I prayed over her, her suite, her hallway and the entire college campus.
She was ready. I wasn’t, but I couldn’t think of any more excuses to stay. I hugged her one more time before hiding my tear-stained face and running to the car.
And guess what? I survived. I even found my joy again.
After all the anticipation of this painful, horrible, how-will-I-survive moment, it wasn’t nearly as dreadful as I'd convinced myself it would be. In fact, it was actually wonderful! The anticipation built a mountain of anxiety, but conquering it led me to a place of unexpected joy and a new perspective.
As parents, we pour so much of ourselves into our children that the idea of them needing us less can feel counterintuitive. Yet, there's a quiet pride that comes with witnessing their growth and realizing they'll be okay venturing out on their own. This new chapter brings a mix of emotions – a touch of sadness, yes, but also the unexpected joy of rediscovering "me time" and witnessing the amazing person they're becoming.
We all know that the last hug at drop-off can be a tearjerker. Yes, there might be a wave of emotions – a little (or a lot) of sadness, a touch of worry. But let me tell you something amazing: getting your child to college is a monumental accomplishment. This isn't just an ending; it's the beautiful beginning of a new chapter for both of you. You've raised a capable, confident young adult who's ready to spread their wings. Seeing them thrive and blossom in this new environment will fill your heart with a joy that surpasses any initial sadness.
So, take a deep breath, mom. The anticipation can feel overwhelming, but remember, the actual experience is often much less stressful than you imagine. Breathe, pray, and focus on the excitement of what's to come. Celebrate this milestone, and get ready to cheer them on as they embark on this incredible journey. You've got this!
Letting Go with Love: A Mom's Guide to College Send-Off
Nine years ago, when I dropped off my firstborn at college, the waterworks started. It felt like I was sending her off into the unknown, never to be seen again! Looking back, I realize I let fear cloud the incredible milestone we were celebrating. Here's what I learned that can help you navigate this emotional rollercoaster:
BREATHE & TRUST.
Sending your child off is an emotional journey. It's okay to feel a range of emotions! Finding peace amidst the worries can feel impossible, but turning to prayer can truly help. Ask God for calm assurance and the strength to let go with love.
Scripture to Lean On: Proverbs 3:5-6
Release control, embrace growth.
It's natural to want to protect your child from harm, but college is a time for them to learn and grow through their own experiences, mistakes included. Just like you learned from yours, they'll learn from theirs too. Trust that God is always with them, guiding them even when you can't be.
Scripture to Lean On: Psalm 91
Celebrate the journey.
College is an exciting adventure! Instead of focusing on "what-ifs," channel your energy into celebrating their accomplishments and supporting their newfound independence.
Scripture to Lean On: 1 Timothy 4:12
Keep the connection strong.
Distance doesn't have to mean disconnection. Regular calls, texts, and visits will keep the communication flowing. Just remember to discuss and agree on a frequency you are both comfortable with.
Scripture to Lean On: Proverbs 12:18
Pray for positive influences.
Ask God to surround your child with good friends and mentors who will make a positive impact on their lives. Pray they are a light in their college community as well.
Scripture to Lean On: 1 Corinthians 15:33
Bonus Tip #1
Don't buy a bed in a bag set.
They don’t last and most have things you don’t need.
Bonus Tip #2
If you have a boy...
If you have a boy, know that ⅓ of the things you send will never get used, ⅓ will get lost, ⅓ will get destroyed. It’s a rule, apparently.
Remember, letting go doesn't mean losing. It's about trusting the foundation you've built and allowing your child to blossom into the amazing person they are becoming.
Meet the Author
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit thelifeofasinglemom.com.
