I’ve been blessed to view first-hand what a healthy home looks like under the helm of a single parent, and this I have discovered: Fully balanced children CAN and DO emerge out of single parent homes. Did I hear an amen?
Single moms possess a great advantage! With no man in the house, they can decide on their own what priorities reign under that roof. When I was a single mom, I worked hard carrying out a three part action plan that would advance my single mom life. And although some days were harder than others, it was my resolve to cling to them as tightly as a post-it-note clings to the bathroom mirror. So what were these post-it-note pledges?
- Accept What Is – Nothing leaves us in the quicksand of the past more than refusing to let go of what “was” and accept what “is.” How can we expect God to take us into new unchartered territories with an anticipation of success if we’re bogged down with what wasn’t fair or how we were mistreated? Yes, it hurts when we didn’t get what we felt we deserved, but life goes on with or without us. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be left behind when God’s Word says there’s more ahead of us than behind us. Maybe it’s time to dream, “What could God do with a single mom that was fully devoted to Him?”
- Let Go of Fear – The Bible warns that fear is a snare. Webster’s describes a snare as a device used to capture innocent prey. Fear is Satan’s stratagem to snatch us off guard. Because fear comes so naturally, we don’t think of it as dangerous. But it is! It goes for our weakest part, suffocating all rationality. Have you ever noticed how easy it is be foolish when you’re worried about what “might” happen? We waste too much valuable time fretting about frightful scenarios that never happen. God promises that no obstacle can overtake our gravest “what if’s.” I take heart in Psalm 18:29 – “With God’s help, we can advance against a troop and scale a wall.
- Practice God’s Presence – What does it mean to practice His presence? It means to envision what it looks like to have God actually in our midst. I tried that when I was a single mom. I told my children after they were buckled in their seat seats to make room for God. Sara, who was four years old, insisted, “Mommy, I want God to always sit back here with me.” Weeks later, we picked up Christopher, Jason’s friend. With much gusto, he plopped himself next to Sara. She yelled out, “Scoot over, Christopher! You’re sitting on God!” Isn’t it wonderful how children take His presence literally? What if we did?
I cheer you on a single mom. Keep up the great work, and don’t hesitate to add your own post-it-notes to your collection.
Pam Kanaly, popular author of The Single Mom and Her Rollercoaster Emotions and nominated by the Governor for “Oklahoma Mother of Achievement – 2015”- is an international advocate for single mothers. As co-founder of the only statewide single mothers’ conference in America – “Survive ‘N’ Thrive,” Pam exudes with a passion in seeing single mothers reach their highest single mom potential. She’s the co-founder of Arise Ministries, a national organization for single mothers, having been featured on the 700 Club and other national programs. www.ariseministries.net
The Life of a Single Mom (TLSM) is a 501c3 nonprofit that exists to serve single parents and those who work with single parents. We are fully accredited through a variety of organizations that include high levels of financial accountability and awards for our premiere financial stewardship, including GuideStar, Evangelical Council of Financial Accountability, Great Nonprofits, Chamber of Commerce, LANO, and others.