Sharon has been a Christian since she was a little girl. Her parents raised her attending church, and she’s been faithful all of her life. She even worked at a local church for a while. She’s now in her late thirties. Never could she have imagined that she would still be single at this age. She remained sexually pure until she was almost thirty years old. That one mistake – that one time – had haunted her for the three years since. She thought surely this guy was the one she had longed for all her life who would one day be her husband. Yet, here she was, in a puddle of tears, questioning everything. “How could I have been so stupid?!” she cried.
She wanted desperately to be married. She had waited, stayed the course, and had been faithful to God’s plan for her life. She was a pretty girl who had a lot going for her, yet her singleness seemed to force her into a path of self-doubt and self-deprecation. She simply could not understand why God hadn’t brought her the man of her dreams. Doesn’t He give us the desires of our heart? Doesn’t He create us for fellowship and relationship?
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I’ve been doing single mothers’ ministry for two decades, and unfortunately, Sharon’s story isn’t unique. Many singles and single parents struggle with the “why” behind their singleness. Is it a curse? Have they done something wrong? Is this a punishment from God in some way? It is especially hard when children are involved and moms desperately want those babies to have a godly male role model in the home.
Single moms, listen closely. Your marital status isn’t a curse. It isn’t some life-without-parole sentence that God has somehow deemed you unworthy of love or a life partner. In fact, Paul writes that it is better to be single (1 Corinthians 7:8). It gives us more time to serve the purposes of God. Have you ever considered your singleness to be a privilege (if even for a season) versus a disadvantage? Your singleness gives you an opportunity to dedicate more time to the Lord in prayer and service. While this is merely a season for most of you, it is time to shift perspective from doom and gloom to glory and opportunity.
The single moms I love so much are often marrying and moving into a new season of life. Inevitably, there are other moms left behind in the ministry who wonder why their guy hasn’t come along, when someone else’s has. Why has one single mom been single for many years, while another is single for only months? I would love to tell you I understand all the intricacies of when you’ll be married versus when the one next to will, but I do not know when your season of singleness will be over. Some of you have been praying for a spouse for a long time now and are discouraged that he hasn’t come along. I don’t know why that is. I know that the man at the pool of Bethesda waited 38 years on his healing, and the woman with the issue of blood suffered twelve. Abraham waited 100 years on God’s promise in his life to be fulfilled. But God was faithful and just. He did what He said.
Learn to be content. Period. Be content when there is plenty flowing in the bank account and when there isn’t. Be content when the children are obeying and when the parenting season is hard. Be content in your singleness while you wait. Do you know how many married moms I talk to who aren’t content?! The truth is, if we cannot learn to be content in all things, we will complain in all things – no matter what we have.
Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13
There was a time in my when I was convinced that I would never marry. I cried for years (literally), as I chased behind meaningless relationships in a desperate attempt to make me whole or find me a husband. It was only when I learned that my joy was found in Christ, my singleness wasn’t a curse, and my single parenthood wasn’t a hindrance to God’s plan, but rather a stepping stone to fully experience His plan, that I fully embraced by singleness. It was some time thereafter when God saw fit to bring me a spouse. I had to learn to be content with whatever I had. I had to take the time to heal with the Great Physician. I had to learn some lessons along the way that were valuable for my future marriage. I had to learn to laugh without fear of my future.
Single moms, please know your God sees you. He sees the desires of your heart. You attempting to make your own way or establishing your own plan, will never be better than God’s. He has a perfect plan for your life that is more than you even know how to pray or ask for. Stay the course. Don’t get off path.
Jennifer Maggio is an award-winning author and speaker, whose personal journey through homelessness, abuse, and single parenting is leaving audiences around the globe riveted. At 19, Maggio was living in government housing on food stamps and welfare, as she struggled to raise two children alone. She shares with great openness her pain, mistakes, and journey to find hope in Christ. She ultimately became an 11-time Circle of Excellence winner in Corporate America, founder of a national nonprofit, author to multiple books, and national single parenting expert. Her passion for the Lord is contagious and her story has been used to inspire thousands around the globe. For more info, visit her website at jennifermaggio.com.
Article first appeared on iBelieve.com
The Life of a Single Mom® is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with thousands of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served more than one million single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University®, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit thelifeofasinglemom.com.
