Patiently Waiting for my Boaz
You’ve heard that old saying before, “Patience is a virtue.” One thing that many of us as single mothers hope for is our Boaz. That wait can seem so loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong. Believe me, I know. I would like to share this story in hopes that it will encourage you.
I married for the first time when I was 21. I was young and dumb and eloped because I wanted to have sex. Needless to say, that marriage didn’t last very long. Still, it did produce God’s greatest gift to me in the form of a beautiful baby girl.
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We divorced shortly after she was born, and a few years later, her father passed away in a tragic accident. We had to recover and move forward with our lives after yet another loss. Although we weren’t married at the time of his death, she still lost her father. I was always concerned about her growing up without a father, so I took extra care to make sure to work through any grief and unforgiveness that I may have had in order for it not to become baggage that I would drag into a new relationship.
I eventually met who I thought was “the one.” Well, it turned out that since we dated long distance for about a year, there was a lot that he was able to hide from me that I didn’t find out about until we were married.
After three years of discovery and the surfacing of detrimental habits, I made one of the most difficult decisions of my life, to divorce…again. Once was bad enough, but to have to go through it again was devastating, not to mention crushing to my self-esteem, leaving me wondering if I was good enough for someone to really even want me.
After the divorce was final, my daughter and I moved closer to family and settled down. I didn’t really date much as my daughter was my priority, and I used that time to heal…again. Finally, after she graduated from high school and went off to college, I decided to give dating a try again, and something magical happened.
I was introduced to a handsome man by a mutual friend at a backyard barbeque. We hit it off and ended up dating. He was everything I thought I wanted. Everything was going wonderfully, until one night he ended up in the hospital. It turns out, his stage 4 cancer had spread. The next few months, we spent our time enjoying every day we had because we truly never knew what the next day would bring. Devastatingly, on February 17, 2017, he lost his battle with cancer and passed away.
How in the world was I going to recover from this? I can honestly say that I wasn’t angry, but definitely felt betrayed by God. Why would He bring, what I thought, was the man I had been waiting and praying for, only to take him away? Heartbroken is an understatement. I felt like I couldn’t breathe after watching him take his last breath.
It took a while, but I knew that I couldn’t wallow in my sorrow. So I tried hard to move forward. It led me right into the arms of someone so bad for me, it was unreal. Once I realized it, ugh, yet again, I walked away.
I spent many days and nights crying, crying out to God, and then just crying some more. I had to release it to God. Here I am, a single mom, two divorces, and the loss of a boyfriend to cancer. How much more could I take? Could I even attempt to love again? If I did, would I have the capacity to do so?
It took so much prayer and healing, not to mention random outbursts of uncontrollable hysterical tears in public, for my heart to heal.
Patience Pays Off
Then, one day, out of the blue, I got the phone call from the man who would become my now fiancé.
I share this story in hopes that it will encourage you; will give you hope. I heard Les Brown once say, “Hope in the future gives you power in the present.” I hope by sharing this story, it gives you power today to know and trust that God is working behind the scenes on your behalf, preparing the man he has for you, your Boaz. While He is doing His part, continue to work on yourself and ask Him what you need to release to Him so that He can work on you. This way, when He does bring your Boaz across your path, you are in a position to receive him without baggage and with a whole and complete heart so that He can use you to be what your Boaz needs.
Today, I am 45 years old, and after experiencing devastating loss so many times, I am engaged to a man that is, for the first time in my life, what I need. The man that God has literally created for me, for whom I believe, I am his missing rib. Funny thing is, I would have never been able to recognize it had I not suffered so much loss before. I am not saying that you have to suffer loss to find your Boaz, but God will do what He needs to do to prepare you for him.
Be patient. God is working.
Nicole Smith is a Panamanian-American, single mother, dancer, published author, workforce development manager and motivational speaker. After graduating, she founded her own non-profit dance organization. Her experience in Sports and Entertainment, Radio, TV and the Performing Arts has spanned nearly 20 years. She has danced and cheered for four Professional and Semi-Professional sports teams, and her heart’s desire is to provide others with tools to overcome life’s challenges while pursuing their dreams. She is the founder of Game Day Prep 365 designed to aid people along their journey to seeing their dreams come to fruition. Connect at www.nicoleRsmith.net.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.
