God has brought you through the fire of hardship, oppression, and single parenting. You’ve come out on the other side of those difficulties and are so excited about all you’ve learned and how your relationship with God has grown. This excitement births a passion to minister to single mothers. The excitement swells, as you envision the dozens, then hundreds, of single moms you can help in your church and community. You’ve set up a meeting with your pastoral leadership team and are filled with anticipation on what they’ll say and when you can get started. (For tips on presenting to your pastor and preparing for that meeting, visit HERE.)
But….the meeting doesn’t go quite like you planned. The pastor or leadership person doesn’t say “yes,” immediately. In fact, they say, “no” . Maybe they cite budget concerns or the lack of need in your church or time restraints. Or maybe you don’t get a “no” at all, but simply a “wait”.
Nothing can seem more frustrating, when you thought you’d be launching a single moms’ ministry in coming weeks and may now how to wait months or years! Waiting can seem like a death sentence to an excited potential single moms’ ministry leader!
But the above is where many potential leaders find themselves – a season of a whole lot of passion and a whole lot of wait! Our goal at The Life of a Single Mom® is to see that no single mom walks alone by working alongside churches to bring ministries to local communities. That said, we’ve created a culture of honor around waiting seasons. We know they are difficult. (Trust us! We’ve been there!) But sometimes, these seasons are necessary. Read on for some best practices to consider during the waiting season:
For more info on navigating pastoral relationships, download our free eBook HERE.
- God will do what He says. If God spoke to you about leading other single mothers in your local church, then He will open that door in His perfect timing. Know that in the right timing a single mom’s program will start in your community or church, whether you are leading it or not, whether it starts in your timing or not, and whether it starts at your church, or not. The faithfulness of God is dependable. Wait on Him to bring the ministry to your area. Be obedient, consistent, and honoring, as you wait on His timing.
- You may not be the one who should lead the single moms’ ministry. This one may be hard for you to hear. Maybe God has laid this single moms’ ministry idea on your heart, but He’s wanting you to start it and someone else to lead it. Maybe you aren’t ready to lead and are still in the healing process. Maybe there are some things you are learning or healing from or needing to grow in. Or maybe He is raising up a new leader who will be just the right person in this season. Maybe your pastor’s “no” was more about your journey than “no” to single moms’ ministry. It doesn’t mean that one day you may not be ready to lead or even that He doesn’t have another assignment for you now! It just means that a mature Believer in Christ can accept the ‘no’ and understand that the Lord is doing something to refine you, as well.
- Pray for your leadership team. While you are waiting on the ‘yes”, pray for your pastors and leaders. The more you pray for the team, the more connected you feel to them. This allows your heart to continue to be pure towards them and no bitter root to grow against them. You have no idea what your pastoral team is facing, the secret burdens they carry, or the demands on their time, finances, families, and lives. It’s important we do not allow disappointment to create division.
- Not right now does not mean no. Sometimes, when we get a delay or a request to wait, we are impatient — very impatient. Patience is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. Be patient while you wait. See what there is to learn. Research best practices for single moms’ ministries. Grow. Pray. Hear from the Lord. Heal, when needed. Mature, when needed. That way, when the pastor says, “yes” eventually, you’ll be ready.
- Do not be disrespectful of your leadership. Maybe someone didn’t approve a single mom’s support group right now. And maybe there really is a huge need in your church and community. Perhaps you are really upset about it. Do not gossip, back-bite, or in any way talk negatively about your church leadership. It doesn’t honor them, and frankly, it exhibits spiritual immaturity. Resolve to pray for them instead. Be submissive to their authority and wait patiently. God is growing you, too!
- Prepare for the single moms’ ministry. This is a time of growth for you. While you are waiting, you are growing. How can you grow? How can you stretch your faith? Do you need to forgive someone, receive healing from an old one, or grow in your knowledge of the Bible? Use this time of waiting to prepare for what God has in the upcoming season.
- Schedule a second meeting six months from now. Give them some time to think and pray. The Lord will move, if and when he sees fit. When you schedule the meeting, ensure you are able to communicate the needs of single mothers in your community. And always, always, be respectful. The second meeting can be one of you explaining some of the things you’ve done to work on yourself, as well as additional conversations you’ve had with single moms in the community, or simply just to let them know you are still interested.
- Serve in another ministry. What vision does your pastor have for the church? Is this a season where they are really focusing on the youth group and ministering to the college-aged in the community? Then, get on board. Serve someone else’s passion, faithfully and with a pure heart, and just watch how God begins to open doors for you. Your volunteerism in another ministry is also a great way to exhibit your faithfulness, sweet personality, and willingness to work hard to your pastoral team!
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.
