Mission Possible by Judy Capps

Doctor Ben Carson is an inspirational man. Raised in a low income urban neighborhood, he rose above the fatherless statistics facing many children of single mothers to become the first pediatric neurosurgeon to successfully separate Siamese twins. He is a politician, Christian speaker and renowned teacher at Johns Hopkins Hospital. Behind this fascinating man is the phenomenal leadership of his single mother Sonya. 

Sonya Carson, an African-American woman, was number twenty-two in a family of twenty-four children.  She spent most of her life in foster care, completed only a third-grade education and at the age of thirteen married an older man in hopes of escaping poverty. When the marriage ended, her circumstances were worse than ever. She lived inside terrible, unsafe housing, had two boys to raise alone and no marketable skills (Carson, 1999).  But Sonya was a warrior leader who declared war on the downward pull that threatened to sentence her sons to a life of poverty. She had three resources, her two hands, a fierce determination to do what it took to make a better life for her sons, and an unbending faith in God (James, 2005, p. 121). As the leader of her household, she understood the importance of choices and her biggest mission field: her children. She was determined to lead them to life.

God makes a miraculous statement in Deuteronomy 30:19 when He says, “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Oh, that you would choose LIFE, so that you and your descendants might live! (Deut. 30:19 NLT). Every day as single mothers you have the opportunity to choose a positive pathway that will lead both you and your children to life. Dr. Carson pays tribute to the remarkable influence of his mother and her example of overcoming hardship.

I have the honor of working alongside women just like Sonya at the Hope of NET transformation center in Texas (hopeofnet.org). I witness, daily, both the challenges and the overcoming spirit of leadership in these brave, bold single mom leaders who parent alone. Parenting is the most important leadership role each of you will ever play. We must prioritize the next generation. The choices you make for your children today will impact the success and future of the generations to come. Think about it. Today is the day to choose life for the children that you lead.

Here are some tips we can learn from looking at the life of Sonya Carson.

1. Turn the social media off and get the books out. A world of learning and adventure waits for your children (and yourself) inside of books. Get the summer reading lists from your library and have reading nights as a family. Reading develops the frontal learning lobes of the brain. Education and learning are key ways to leave status quo life behind.
   
   
2. Utilize the theaters, zoos, museums in your area to expose your children to the bigger world they live in. As you expose your family to art, classical music, drama, they learn that there is much more to life than the circumstances they may see around them and creates the space to dream big.
   
   
3. Develop healthy friendships with others that will be a positive influence for your family and limit the negative ones. Find a buddy to partner with to enrich your lives and the lives of your children together.
   
   
4. Have positive role models. Everyone needs a hero. Don’t let the heroes of your children be the negative bully at school. There is value in the nerd who like to learn. Who in your community do you trust and admire to be the role model of the positive healthy life you want your kids to see? Seek out mentors for you and your children.
   
   
5. Get out pen and paper to write down a strategy of where you want to help your kids go in life and how you intend to get there. Look for and plan solutions that will bring about positive change and then follow through. Set one, two and three year goals. Get the big picture plan for your family’s life and know where you are going.
   
   
6. Get your kids to understand delayed gratification. What you choose to do with them now will affect them twenty years down the road. If you spend your time wisely now you will have years to reap the benefits, spending time unwisely allows years for them to suffer the consequences. 

Parenting is the most important leadership role you will ever have. Your example and attitude to life situations around you are critical for your children as you lead them down the path of God’s blessing and life. Dr. Ben Carson gives the credit for his amazing blessed life to the leadership of his mother. He states, “I not only saw and felt the difference my mother made in my life, I am still living out that difference as a man” (Carson, 1999, p. 107). The Christ in you makes all things possible. Fiercely lead your children down the path of life.

REFERENCES

Carson, B. (1999). The Big picture. Zondervan Books.

James, C. (2005). Lost women of the bible. Zondervan Books.