As an advocate for single moms’ support groups and ministries in churches for more than a decade, The Life of a Single Mom team is excited to see the number of churches starting and growing single moms’ support groups and ministries as we continue to partner with hundreds of churches throughout the United States and beyond. Seeing God’s hand upon the lives of single mothers and their children is the reason we exist! Many churches are taking it a step further and offering one-time events, such as worship nights, car service days, and game nights to serve single mothers and their children, as well as launching volunteer teams and mentoring projects to continue to enhance services provided to these families. We’re grateful to the many churches that see the need to show the love of Christ to these families.
That said, we know that single moms’ Bible studies and support groups are not perfect and not without their share of challenges, so this article is written to help you, single moms, to maximize your single mom Bible study experience.
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- Attend. Maybe your church offers a single moms’ ministry already, and you’ve never attended, as you were concerned about going alone or feared you wouldn’t fit in or that everyone already knew everyone else. Maybe you even had a stereotype about what a single moms’ Bible study actually is! “Do they sit around and complain about their ex all the time,” you may have wondered. Make an effort to become an “attender” of your local group. Attend more than once or twice, so you can really get to know the group and its leadership. Give them a fair shake before making a decision.
- Be faithful. Speaking of attendance, once you have determined that this is the right fit for you, attend faithfully. Even when you don’t feel like going, just go. The Lord always blesses the sacrifice we make in our time. There is always that one lesson or nugget that we take away that is our nourishment for the week. There is always one conversation with a fellow single mom friend that offers the necessary encouragement to continue the journey.
- Be the change you want to see. Do you see some challenges in your single moms’ group? Maybe there are some challenges with friendliness or starting on time. Perhaps there are some cliques that need to be disbanded to ensure all feel welcome. Maybe the newcomers don’t get a phone call as quickly as they should, or the regular attenders don’t get followed up on when they stop attending. There could be many challenges within your group. Instead of complaining or attempting to start your own thing commit to helping with the changes that could make the group flourish. Very few single moms’ ministry leaders around the U.S. are paid to do what they do. They are giving of their time because they love you. None of the groups are perfect, nor are the leaders, but we can guarantee they love you and do this because they feel called by God.
- Engage in online topic discussions. If your group has a private Facebook group, a group text, or other regular forms of communication, make an effort to engage. This is a great way to get to know the other ladies in the group and to feel a connection in-between meetings. Also, remember that you have something to offer. It could be that your life experience could lend wisdom to another mom in a similar situation.
- Serve others. While many single moms attend a single moms group to grow in the Word and to forge new friendships, it is also a great time to give back to others, since childcare is often offered at single moms’ groups. We know it is more blessed to give than to receive, but sometimes we forget that we can give of our talents and time, too. Come a few minutes early to help set up or stay late to tear down the event. Offer to serve meals or greet newcomers. Volunteer to follow-up with attendees and welcome them to the group via a phone call. Help in hanging flyers in the community. There are many, many tasks an effective single moms’ group is doing each and every week. Be part of serving others.
- Embrace gratitude. Not every church sees the need to minister to single mothers or even has a budget to do so. Not every Christian sees the value in serving this particular type of ministry. That said, be sure to thank your church leadership and decision-makers that made this ministry and/or event possible. Let them know you appreciate their willingness to see you and your children and to attempt to meet the needs that may exist in your family.
- Get some phone numbers. Don’t attend the group and then leave. Make an effort to get to know a new friend. You will get out of the group what you put in the group. If you sit in the corner and don’t engage in any conversations, you will likely struggle to make friends. Let’s face it. Going somewhere new can be really uncomfortable and awkward, but make an effort to start small talk with at least one mom. If you hit it off, get her number. (Hint: Conversation starters can always be about children, places of employment, hobbies they enjoy, or how long they’ve attended the church or group.)
- Enjoy activities outside of the regular meetings. Schedule a movie night or park meet-up. Be intentional about nurturing new friendships made in the group by being active outside the group. This will enhance your overall experience and strengthen the new friendships that are forging during the meetings.
- Pray for the leadership and volunteer team. As mentioned earlier, most of the leadership teams at single moms’ ministries are doing the very best they can. They are juggling families, full-time jobs, and pouring over the ministry many hours each week. Take the time to pray for them and the families they represent and the needs they don’t share. Pray that the Lord would give them perseverance as they serve others and that they would be blessed. Pray that the Lord would give them wisdom on how to lead well.
- Have fun! Make your single moms’ group feel like home. Laugh. Joke. Engage in great storytelling about your week. Put your feet up and rest awhile. This group is for you.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.
