Leadership may seem glamorous, fascinating, and full of prestige. However, that picture could not be further from the truth. The truth is leadership is messy! Whether you are leading a single moms' support group or are a leader on your job, there is no cookie-cutter manual to get you through every situation you may encounter. The glamor of the title often overshadows the purpose of leadership and the heart behind it which is to serve. It is easy to forget that leadership is not about the titles, but it’s about trenches. Are you willing to get in the trenches with those that you are called to serve?
The Bible paints a vivid picture of who we were called to be as leaders and what leadership should look like.
“I left you on the island of Crete so you could complete our work there and appoint elders in each town as I instructed you. An elder must live a blameless life. He must be faithful to his wife and his children must be believers who don’t have a reputation for being wild or rebellious. A church leader is a manager of God’s household, so he must live a blameless life. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered; he must not be a heavy drinker, violent, or dishonest with money. Rather, he must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must love what is good. He must live wisely and be just. He must live a devout and disciplined life. He must have a strong belief in the trustworthy message he was taught; then he will be able to encourage others with wholesome teaching and show those who oppose it where they are wrong.”
Titus 1:7-9
In Titus 1, we see Paul instructing Titus to be an overseer and Paul uses this time to encourage Titus’ heart. Paul instructs Titus and informs him that he has been appointed as a leader to set things in order and has been commissioned to finish what was left unfinished – ultimately cleaning up the city of Crete’s mess. Can you imagine what Titus must have felt standing in the middle of a city, seeing the corruption, the sin, and the darkness? Anxiety must have flooded his mind. He may have had to battle moments of feeling ill-equipped. Or maybe he responded in the same way Moses did originally saying something along the lines of, “Lord, send someone else. I think you meant to call someone else.”
The truth is many of you may feel that exact same way. Maybe you are knee deep into single moms’ ministry and you’re looking at the complexities of it all – the trauma, the cycles, the pain, and the hurt the women have experienced. It’s enough to cripple you. Maybe the Lord placed on your heart to start a business that would impact the masses years ago. You tried, but quickly became burdened by the paperwork, overwhelmed by managing the finances. Then, life kept “life-ing” and the vision became further and further out of reach.
Be encouraged today that God turns beauty from ashes. The mess that you see now, – in ministry or in your own personal life – God will use for His glory. He will restore what is broken. The good news about Him choosing you to facilitate it is that you get to witness it all unfold! But you must be willing, just as Titus, to get in the trenches – to step into the mess – to see the beauty that will come from it.
I want to encourage you, today, to keep going! In the middle of the chaos, the storm, and the trenches, there is good news…you are right where you are supposed to be! So, how do we navigate in the trenches? There are two key elements that I want to encourage you with as you answer the call and walk in the authority God has given you for this assignment.
The Heart
As I sit here writing and reflecting on my single parenting journey, I think back to the very beginning. I remember a ministry leader listening to me as I talked about the pain and discouragement I felt as a single mother. I felt overwhelmed and under-resourced. It was as if I never had enough - enough money, enough parenting techniques, enough sleep. However, that leader created an atmosphere that provided me with the necessary strength I needed to continue to believe God would work things together for my good.
As leaders, we must encourage, pray, and walk with people through times of celebration and during times of tragedy. Go out for coffee. Visit hospitals. Have potlucks! Lean in and speak to the pain that individuals are dealing with and create atmospheres of love, warmth, and acceptance so that they can continue forward. Be intimately involved with their hearts.
Has the Lord has placed it on your heart to start a single moms' support group? The Life of a Single Mom can help! Start by diving into our free article "Starting a Single Moms' Ministry: 3 Tips to Thriving" and then stop by our Ministry Leader Corner to see how we can help you get started!
The HANDS
key aspect of leadership
The next element of ministering in the trenches, is being the hands and feet of Jesus. The hands of the ministry include developing, training, and equipping others. Many times we help individuals capitalize on their strengths while we help others manage their weaknesses.
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus,
so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.”
EPHESIANS 2:10
We help others develop growth plans and provide truth in love to encourage those we lead to take action and to get up from the circumstances they are in. When we look at the assignment Titus was given, he was called to walk in the same authority as Jesus Christ. Titus 2:15 says, “You must teach these things and encourage the believers to do them. You have the authority to correct them when necessary, so don’t let anyone disregard what you say.”
Jesus did not come to be served, but He came to serve. We, as leaders, must follow that same example – to step in and serve despite the circumstances. Jesus didn’t sit in a palace in the fanciest clothes with the most expensive meals. He went directly to the broken areas. He walked and fellowshipped with the poor and the outcasts. In the trenches, you will likely encounter brokenness, weariness, and some things you have never experienced before. But be willing to be a light in those dark places. Be the hands and feet of Jesus. When you say “yes” and are willing to just show up, God will meet you there. He gives you everything that you need to help bring someone out. God shows up in the trenches.
Answering the call to leadership is not easy, but it’s worth it. If you are facing burnout in your season of leadership, be sure to check out The Calling: Leadership & Burnout.
Meet the Author
Sheree Cain-Jones is a coach, speaker, and lover of all things women. Sheree grew up in poverty and struggled with a sense of self-worth until she had her "superpower" moment with God. Her life's message is centered around empowering women to challenge the mindsets that hold them back so that they can finally get results. She believes you have what it takes to overcome the issues of life you're currently facing, and if you believe, you can turn your greatest pain into your greatest power!
For more info visit: www.shereecainjones.com.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit thelifeofasinglemom.com.
