I’m a Mom, Now what?
When I became a mom at 19, I had no clue what I was doing. I had to grow to be intentionally involved with my children, though. I started off learning and providing the basics—food, shelter, clothing. Then to potty training, walking, reading, writing. Then to principles that weren’t learned at school like gratitude, respect, prayer, ethics & more. Then teaching about society, relationships, money management, lifetime learning, and more. Each time I mastered one thing, I was eager to find another way to be more involved and teach them more. I became more involved, as well, by volunteering at the school, in the classroom, to be team mom of a sport, I wanted to be involved, and I wanted them to feel my presence in their life. This was a feeling that I didn’t get in my childhood. I began to create strategies and principles for them to live by.
For additional parenting advice, check out Kids and the Single Mom HERE.
One of the principles I have taught is always remaining active. My children are required to be involved in 3 activities. They are required to be involved in serving at church in some capacity. They are required to join a group or club from school. And, they are required to be involved, in some way, in the community. This allows them to keep God at the foundation, learn to interact with social groups as they grow up to be productive citizens of society, as well as, help them learn how to give back to their community and those around them. This also allows them to form relationships and creates positive social circles for them to be a part of, with those who share their same interests. It is healthy to be around others who share the same interest and can motivate them. This does, however, create a lot of responsibility with juggling their activities. Balancing my schedule and their schedule is not always easy. But anything you want to do, you find a way to do it, right?
I had to create a scheduling system for our family that works. A weekly schedule is visible so that everyone in the house knows what’s going on and when. They all are aware of the expectations for each week. I have to put myself on a schedule as well. That includes personal scheduling, setting alarms, set days for chores and shopping, meal planning, and so much more! See, the key was knowing what I wanted to do, not giving an excuse as to why I could not do it, but finding a strategy that will help me accomplish what I desired.
I make sure my children were exposed to things to help them think outside the box that society tries to put them in. One of the most important things for me was that they are life -long learners. Learners beyond the classroom of schools. Learners who started at home, went to school, and continued learning even after. Putting in the time and work necessary to make sure they are successful. See, as young African Americans, society is already set up against my kids. For my son, a young black man in America, society wanted to ruin his chances of being successful the moment he was born. As a mother, I knew I couldn’t expect my children to get everything they needed from school. I needed to include lessons and conversations they wouldn’t get from a classroom, and I needed to be intentional about doing it. You see, being intentional takes being involved to a different level. It’s making sure I listen to their desires, their thoughts, their needs, and help them by guiding them on the right path with wisdom, with love, lessons, and responsibilities that will help them be the best “them” at any age. As a mother, it’s up to me to see that they make it down that path of success. And what is success? It doesn’t mean millions of dollars or fame or anything else that society deems success. It’s being the best you that you can be, no matter where you are in your life. That’s what I want for them always. To always be grateful for where they are, but to always strive for more.
It wasn’t until I really discovered my “Purpose” and my role as a mother in their lives before things became clear! I’m a mom & I now know exactly what to do!
Tramika Craddock is a Lifestyle Coach and Empowerment Speaker for women across the world! She is known for her empowerment & encouragement for mothers as she helps them manage motherhood while not leaving their dreams behind. After Tramika was married to her high school sweetheart and began to start a family, all of her duties shifted from focusing on her career to being a wife and mom. In 2016, Tramika was certified as a Life Coach and now helps moms around the world find a healthy balance. Speaking to moms and the request for on-going coaching forced her to launch, SHEnetworks Personal & Business Development Group Coaching Program, for women who desire help in their personal lives and in business. Tramika is the author of Wife Mom Preneur. Tramika finds her success in helping people grow from where they are to where they desire to be! For more information about Tramika, visit www.tramikacraddock.com.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.
