Typically, when you hear the word "grief" most people think of the word "death." Webster-Merriam dictionary defines grief as: “a cause of such suffering" and "an unfortunate outcome: disaster" and "deep and poignant distress or loss." I don’t know about you, but I have experienced most of those emotions in various types of relationships. You can be grieving financially, intellectually, socially, or emotionally, or grieving what you have had or what might have been. One thing I know for sure is going through the grieving process can be life-altering.
LET ME SHARE A STORY WITH YOU...
Sadie* worked for a large non-profit organization which included long hours tied to a cell phone, countless meetings, and coaching employees who appeared to be dealing with their own secondary trauma from the job. One day, Sadie received word from the corporate office that they were going to close their location due to recent funding cuts. Sadie was not too surprised because she was well-versed on the financials of the organization, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Sadie is a single mom of three children, and it seemed that they were demanding more of her attention. Sadie was still adjusting to the role of being a single mom with little help from her children's father. She expressed that she felt that her life was a disaster and the upcoming change in financial income was overwhelming. Sadie was looking for relief and was not sure where to turn or what to do.
As a speaker and teacher, one of the beautiful things I get to do is work with women as they are going through turbulence in their lives. Sadie and I worked together, and below are a few of the helpful tools that were a lifejacket for her during this time.
1. Lean on God.
There are times you may feel that you are alone, but trust me, during this time it is important to grow closer to God. Lean not unto your own understanding.
2. Grieve.
Grieving is normal process of healing. The key is move through the process.
3. Get to the root.
Hurt people hurt people. Sometimes they don’t know why they hurt others, so you may not be given explanations on what or why.
4. Know who is in control.
There are things that you will not be able to control, so understand things will may happen - in fact, Scripture tells us that it is promised. But be encouraged today, momma, that God has overcome the world. (John 16:33)
5. Know who is in control.
Find something positive at the end of every day because God has brought you through. There is always something that we can praise God for. Although there may be hurt, we still have breath in our lungs. God has kept us here for purpose. There's beauty all around us. Be intentional about seeing it.
You see, life happens - the good AND the bad. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We all need help at one point and time. Above all, remember you have a Heavenly Father who watches over you, who sees you, who protects you, and calls you His own. He isn't scratching His head in Heaven trying to figure out the next move. He has a plan and purpose for your life (Jeremiah 29:11), and He will use everything for His glory.
Oh, and in case you are wondering what happened to Sadie, I can share that she was able to find another job (pays more than her previous job), and she is moving through the grieving process! That's a great example of God's provision. And as He did for Sadie, He will do for you.
*Sadie is not the real name of the person mentioned in the above story.
Healing from grief is a process. Here's how you can get started:
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Meet the Author
Dr. Tia Murry is the Founder/CEO of FLI LLC which specializes in empowering and equipping audiences by providing a navigational flight plan through speaking, coaching, and publishing. She believes in equipping women internationally with the tools to courageously share their voice. Tia is known for her engaging presence, her uplifting messages and teaching styles that are transparent, truthful, and humorous. She is living testimony that life may take you through turbulent storms, but YOU can manifest YOUR heart’s desire and FLI.
Serving is Tia’s passion, but nothing comes before the love and care she has for her children, Derrick, Tamia, and Jazmyn, and her most precious granddaughter Amaiah.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.
