I love hats. Trendy Hats. Beanies. Ball-caps. Fedoras. Dressy hats. Cowboy hats. Knit hats. Really any type of hat! Hats display your personality, attitude, mood and feelings. Hats are way to express yourself! They are an added fun accessory and perfect for don’t wanna wash my hair days….which I seem to have a lot of these days. Hats are fun and expressive. They certainly do not define us but they do communicate non-verbally a little about us.

We each wear MANY, many hats. The hats that we wear though not visible are all very important. In fact our invisible hats matter more than the ones that we can see. Every day when we wake up, we have to put on a hat. Then hours later after the kids are dressed, fed, washed, cleaned and prepped for the day we switch to another hat. A number of us switch to the profession hat. Others switch to the Mommy with toddlers hat. Some switch to the business owner hat and some the employee hat. Regardless of the hat we switch to, the other hats never leave our site. After all we are Moms and always will be! In our big, overstuffed purse, within close reach we have the friend hat, the mom hat, the daughter hat, the volunteer hat, the ex hat, the girlfriend hat, the employee hat and some of us even have the blended family new wife hat. We each have a million hats that we are expected to wear well each day. Sometimes, wearing these hats well is exhausting and overwhelming. Every hat means a new expectation, which usually just equals more pressure. If you are anything like me, you can’t remember which hat you are wearing most of the time.

The truth is that God doesn’t define us by our hats. He designs them! Thankfully, our heavenly Father sees right past our hats directly into our heart. If we sit long enough to listen for His voice we can hear him say, “It’s not about the hat you wear or how perfectly (or imperfectly) you wear it. It’s about how you choose to display your hat that counts. Be a Mom that responds with patience. Be a friend that speaks the truth in love. Be an ex that demonstrates grace. Be a volunteer that serves others with joy. Be an employee that has integrity. Every hat has a purpose. I am the maker of your heart and designer of your hats. Let me help you wear each one beautifully!”

So to all of my sisters, and friends, that are reading this column, remember ROCK THE HAT YOU WEAR whatever one it is!


After a difficult divorce, Courtney Markoff was tired, overwhelmed, and afraid. She went from earning big money in business to applying for state aid. She struggled financially, emotionally, and physically. From this mess came the desire to help other single parents through the difficult transition she had just survived… and the birth of FUEL. Single Parent FUEL exists to equip, encourage and engage single parents in a supportive, non-judgmental community. FUEL exists to help address the daily challenges we have in common as single parents. Courtney is living proof that if we’re given the proper tools, encouragement, and mentoring, we can be healed, whole, and thriving! For more info, visit www.singleparentfuel.com.


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The Life of a Single Mom (TLSM) is a 501c3 nonprofit that exists to serve single parents and those who work with single parents. We are fully accredited through a variety of organizations that include high levels of financial accountability and awards for our premiere financial stewardship, including GuideStar, Evangelical Council of Financial Accountability, Great Nonprofits, Chamber of Commerce, LANO, and others.