No little girl dreams about being a single mom; it just happens.
Instantly, the dream of "happily ever after" suffers a serious blow - taking a little hope with it. Engulfed in a situation that seems so final, women muster the strength to overcome. My mom did.
I was still in diapers when my parents divorced - too small to comprehend the ramifications the ending of their marriage would have on my life. And although my childhood memories aren’t filled with a two-parent household, all my immediate needs were taken care of. I had no understanding of how my mom did it or how difficult it was to raise me alone, until now.
I used to think mothering was cute - a nice little byproduct of marriage. However, after a few years in the parenting trenches, I can now say that myth has been debunked. From it’s inception mothering is a joy, but it is also messy, difficult, and completely unpredictable. I now realize getting those small humans out was actually the easy part; rearing them is much more challenging.
Everyday, from the morning routine to bedtime, it is simply non-stop - meals, cleaning, homework, patience, discipline, extra - curricular activities, conflict resolution...it seemingly never ends. But the weight of keeping the balls circling in mid air does not rest solely on me; there is a team effort in our household.
Courageously taking up the mantle of responsibility, single moms accomplish what must be done. I’ve seen it countless times. Whether it is the mother whose husband suddenly died leaving her with four kids, or the woman with an unfaithful spouse, women are bearing the weight of being a single mom.
So to the woman steeped in parenting quicksand - about to go under - here’s a rope:
God sees you. Every tear, unspoken worry, and sleepless night has not gone unnoticed by Him. He is aware and concerned about you. And though we, as mothers, live in the mundane - scraping Cheerios off of the couch, scrubbing toilets, and chauffeuring little people like a taxi driver - we are not insignificant. Your sacrifice, perseverance, and selfless service are seen by an all-knowing God. And in the midst of overdue bills, incomplete housework, and broken dreams, God the dream-giver is thinking of you.
"How precious it is, Lord, to realize that you are thinking about me constantly! I can’t even count how many times a day your thoughts turn toward me. And when I awaken in the morning, you are still thinking of me!"
(Psalm 139: 17 - 18 TLB)
If you find yourself overwhelmed by the gravity of managing it all, cast your cares on your heavenly Father. This is a daily practice I learned from my mother. In the morning it was not uncommon to find her crouched down on bended knee crying out to God for all that concerned her. I’m sure, I was a frequent topic of discussion during my teenage years.
To the single mother reading this post, be encouraged. When you feel alone, know He is smack dab in the middle of your mothering whirlwind, and He is more than capable of meeting your needs. Most importantly, know that no matter how invisible you may feel, your value will never fade into the distance or be ever be forgotten by the God who made you.
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MEET THE AUTHOR
Kia Stephens is the founder of Entrusted Women, which she created to equip Christian women communicators of color. A contributing writer for iBelieve.com, Proverbs 31 Ministries, and Crosswalk, she is a recurring speaker at She Speaks, the Beloved Women’s Conference, and the Entrusted Women’s Conference. Kia’s writing has been featured on (in)courage and Ann Voskamp’s blog. She has also been a featured guest on the Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast, Chrystal’s Chronicles with Chrystal Evans Hurst, Better Together with Barb Roose and The Dream of You Podcast with Jo Saxton. Check out Kia’s book, Overcoming Father Wounds, on her website at entrustedwomen.com!
WHO WE ARE
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit thelifeofasinglemom.com.
