For additional parenting advice, check out Kids and the Single Mom HERE.
Being a single mom is the hardest job that I have ever had. But what happens when things start falling apart? The expectations are high and the support is low. We are expected to work full-time jobs and/or go to school, take care of the house, take care of the kids, deal with our emotional and mental baggage, deal with our kids emotional and mental baggage, deal with confrontations with the ex which causes more emotional and mental baggage, and we are expected to do all of this completely on our own. According to society, single moms should be super women with super powers. Our world falling apart is not an option for us, yet it does. Often. That’s when we find Jesus in the midst of it all.
What society refuses to see are the nights spent awake worrying about how the bills will get paid, if the car will make it through another day and if you can go one day without getting a call from the dean at your child’s school. No one sees the silent tears behind the fake smile. No one, but Jesus. Jesus sees every tear we shed as single moms. Jesus cares about what we are going through and He loves us unconditionally. Even when we feel alone, we are never alone. Jesus gives Himself as a gift of comfort, love, peace and hope if we are willing to accept the gift. How do we find Jesus when everything seems to be crashing in around us, when our world is falling apart?
1. Prayer- Jesus is always available when we need to talk. It doesn’t matter what time of the day or night it is. We can pour out our hearts to Him and be assured that Jesus hears us when we pray.
1 Peter 3:12
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
2. Bible study – Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path. God’s word can comfort us as well as guide us. If we make studying the Bible a habit, we will find the wisdom we need to navigate the single mom journey.
3. Community – God made us to live in community. We need each other. We were never meant to live alone. I know that stepping out of our comfort zone to find community is never easy, but it is necessary in order to find that support system for us and our children. There are loving, Bible based churches out there. I urge you to keep searching. It has taken me some time, but I actually found a church that I love in a small country church with 30 regular attendees. They have been wonderful and it is a family.
Acts 2:44-47
44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
I have had many days as a single mom when I just wanted to curl up and quit. I have had days when I felt helpless. In those moments when it feel like everything is falling apart – Those are the times when I need Jesus the most and those are the times when He shows up. Finding Jesus is the most important thing we can do as a single mom. When no one else in the world understands, Jesus does! Don’t ever think that your situation is beyond what Jesus can restore. When our world is falling apart, finding Jesus is the first thing we should focus on. It is the only thing that makes any sense. Looking for more resources? Check out our Single Mom Help Page today!
Patti Burris has spent the last 19 years raising 5 children to adulthood. She has survived the ups, downs, chaos and messiness that comes with being a single mom. Patti uses her experiences as a single mom to minister to other single moms. She lives by faith and in her own imperfect way, she is teaching other single moms to do the same. Her greatest joy is when other single moms find that hope that can only be found in Jesus. She is a certified Biblical lay counselor and a certified Christian life coach. She is the author of God Is: A Seven Week Bible Study For Single Moms. Patti lives in Valdosta, Georgia with her daughter, Kiowa. You can find Patti at www.pattiburris.com.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.
