Have you ever found yourself in a season of No? Do you sometimes feel like your heart’s deep longing has hit a dead end?
In 2009, there were many things I was grateful for in my life. My husband and I had just received a beautiful Yes – the news that we were expecting our first child together. I had a long list of things in my life that were heading in the right direction, but one area seemed stalled.
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I wanted to connect with people, I wanted to share my journey, and I wanted to be a leader. I dreamed of writing a book, of traveling to speak, of leading a bible study, or maybe even preaching! The problem was, no matter how I tried, I couldn’t get one person to say Yes to me. For various reasons, door after door closed, and I was left wondering why. Why would God allow me to walk through this journey and not open doors for me to share it with others? Why would everyone around me say No when I had finally gathered the courage to ask? Oh, how I longed to hear one Yes.
One Sunday at church during worship, I laid my heart out before the Lord. Through tears I wondered why. Why is this happening? Had I not been faithful enough? Had I not been strong enough? In response, His words rushed swiftly and tenderly into my heart.
“Meja,” he whispered. “Do you remember how excited you were when you found out you were pregnant?”
“Yes,” I responded curiously.
“In your excitement, could you push this baby out into the world?” he asked.
“No.”
“What would happen if you did?” he asked gently.
“It would die,” I whispered, holding back tears.
“Rebecca, I have impregnated you with a dream that you will not be able to physically bring forth on your own. If you take it into your own hands it will not work.”
“But how long, Lord?” I asked.
I could feel his warmth as he answered my question.
“Be of good courage. No woman stays pregnant forever, and when your water breaks and it’s “go time”, no man can stop a woman in labor.”
My conversation with the Lord that day shifted something inside me. Every No became a milepost on the roadway to his promises for me. But I didn’t just sit and do nothing while I waited. I knew the day would come when God would bring forth those dreams he had carefully placed in my heart, and I wanted to be ready. Today as I write this, I am seeing some of those promises being birthed. His promises are true. Take heart!
Friend, if you’re in a season of waiting, or even a season of No, hang in there. His ways and his timing are perfect. Rest in the knowledge that he knows you, he hears you, and he will move when it’s “go time”.
In the meantime, here are some things you can do to remain hopeful in your season of No.
- Stay connected to the source. Don’t let your worry or discouragement overpower your time with the Lord. When you don’t know what to pray, worship him. Dig into his Word. Stand fast.
- Reach out. Talk about how you’re feeling with someone you trust. A wise, listening ear is a treasure. The waiting is easier when we do it together.
- Keep knocking. You never know when a door will open. Keep working towards your dreams and goals. Gain new skills. Meet new mentors. Keep doing the work, and let God do his. You’ve got this, and I believe in you.
Relentless in her mission to help others find their purpose, Rebecca Bender is CEO of the Rebecca Bender Initiative and founder of Elevate Academy, the largest online school for survivors of trafficking in the world. An award-winning thought leader, advocate, author, and consultant, she educates on many human trafficking-related topics and serves the U.S. National Advisory Council, state Dept of Justice Advisory Council, and advises a variety of nonprofits. Rebecca Bender, MACT Author, In Pursuit of Love, Roadmap to Redemption @ImRebeccaBender
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.
