As a new single mom, with a two- year old son, I was filled with hatred towards my ex-husband for leaving our family.  My new single mom life revolved around that hatred.  My life went from a normal married life to one now divorced with new women in my son’s life, going back to work, lack of finances, dealing with the loss of my house, in court with custody cases, and my son now leaving every other weekend from my home.  My entire attitude was; “Boy is he going to pay for this.”  The Lord showed me what I did with the “Spears” that were thrown at me.  I retaliated by sharpening them and throwing them right back.  I also put my son in the middle of it all. 

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The foundation for this story is taken from the Bible when King Saul set out to kill David.  David had the opportunity to kill Saul, yet he chose not to.  As long as you look at the person you think is acting like King Saul, you will blame them for your present hell.  Be careful for God has his eyes fixed sharply on another King Saul.  Not the visible one standing up there throwing spears at you.  No, God is looking at another King Saul.  One just as bad or worse; God is looking at the King Saul in you!

My single mom life went from despair and sorrow to one filled with hope, joy and peace when I decided to forgive my ex and apply Matthew 5:44 that says, “I will love those who hurt me, bless those who curse me and do good to those who hate me.”  In other words, I needed to guard my heart.  Although I still had to make safe boundaries, I made a decision to love my ex unconditionally, and love the sinner and hate the sin.  I also chose to forgive him.

Next I started to pray for him and speak blessings over him.  I even prayed with my son at night for his dad.  This changed both of our hearts for my son was filled with hatred also.  I made a decision to take the high road and let God be our vindicator and fight this battle for us. If you are wise enough to say, “No problem,” and refuse to get bitter and angry, you are closer to victory and promotion that you think.  God is just trying to get the King Saul out of you.

God has an amazing plan for both you and your children, yet it cannot be revealed with bitterness, anger, un-forgiveness and hatred in your heart. So how can a single mom live in victory with spears being thrown at her?  Never learn the art of spear throwing.  Stay out of the company of all spear throwers.  Keep your mouth tightly shut.  That way spears will never touch you even when they pierce your heart.

Lori Little is the author and founder of Hope & Help for the Single Mom and mother to her son, Eric. Lori became a single mom when her son was just two years old. While studying her new Bible, the Lord showed her twenty-one verses of scripture, and told her if she followed them, everything would be okay for her and Eric. Lori built a model and life plan from these verses, and did her best to live them out and teach them to her son. These twenty-one verses will teach single moms and their children to flourish in the midst of their overwhelming circumstances; leading them to live a life of purpose and meaning, focus and order, balance and harmony. Read more about Lori and Hope & Help for the Single Mom at

The Life of a Single Mom is a global nonprofit committed to seeing no single mom walk alone. Having served more than 71,000 single mothers each year, the goal of the organization is establish support groups for single mothers in communities around the world. To date, we have worked with more than 1,500 churches & community groups to start or improve a single mom’s group. Our programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially, and parentally. For more information, visit