Linda was raised in a loving Christian home. Her parents were both very involved in their church. She had always gone to Sunday school, vacation Bible school, youth group, and camps. Pretty much whatever the church had to offer, she was there. Everything seemed to be just as it should be in Linda’s life.
As a young adult, Linda began to socialize with people other than her church friends. And of course there was that guy – there’s always a guy. He was charming, funny, and cute. How could there be anything wrong with spending time with him? He was not a believer, but Linda was determined he would become one. She invited him to church activities, and he came. Oh, how perfect. She thought, who says missionary dating doesn’t work? Linda was crazy about Stan, and he was just as crazy about her.
Gradually, Stan began to pull Linda away from her Christian friends. The Lord was convicting Linda about her choices, but she so wanted to please Stan that she filled her quiet times with distractions and tuned out the still, small voice of the Lord.
It wasn’t too long into their dating relationship that Linda became pregnant. Stan asked Linda to marry him. After visiting with Linda’s pastor, Stan prayed a prayer, and poof, called himself a Christian. Now they could get married and everything would be all right – or so Linda wanted to believe.
Within months Linda and Stan had a bouncing baby boy. A year-and-a-half later they had another baby. All seemed fine. Until Stan began to disappear for days at a time, and their finances would dwindle for no apparent reason.
One day, Linda was shocked to discover that Stan was overwhelming addicted to cocaine. The nice, clean-cut young man who appeared to love his family and held a good job, would frequently binge – living a completely different life than the one he had at home. Linda truly loved her husband and was heartbroken to watch him destroy himself. She pleaded with Stan to get help, to no avail.
Through a series of events, Linda’s pastor helped her come to the difficult decision that it was time to move herself and her kids out of their unhealthy home environment.
Linda couldn't believe her life had turned out this way. She came from a godly family. She had loved the Lord and wanted nothing more than to be a mom and the wife of a good man. Why had she not seen the warning signs in Stan? How did things get so out of control? And where would she turn from here? She turned to God.
She repented of her own rebellion against the Lord and determined to live for Him–making it her main priority to raise her children to know and love the Lord. Linda would be the first to tell you that God can take our messes and use them for His glory, if we would only repent and return to Christ.
I have been friends with Linda for over 20 years. She is one of the best mothers I have ever known. I have learned much from this wise and godly woman. Through her faithfulness, God changed the trajectory of her family. Her children are now adults who love and serve Christ. And by God’s grace, each have married wonderful godly spouses.
Although as a young woman Linda had chosen to rebel against the Lord, she returned to obediently follow His leading. Her children were not destined to be ungodly, rebellious men who used drugs simply because their father had done so.
By her example of cultivating her love for God, Linda was able to teach her children to love Him as well.
And the same can be true for you. God truly is faithful to make all things work together for good like He promised in Romans 8:28.
Does Linda’s story resonate with you? Do you find yourself a single mom with regrets? Don’t get stuck. Beating yourself up over past poor choices will do nothing to change your future. Blaming your ex for his failures isn’t the way to go either. Life is life - for all of us. We all have made poor choices at one time or another. It is what you do when you come to your senses that matters.
For example, the prodigal son in the Bible came to his senses and went home to his father. That is where his story takes an amazing turn. And this is where your story can be transformed for good as well.
Whether your husband skipped out on your family due to substance abuse, apathy or an affair - you can break free from the repercussion of his failures when you run to Jesus.
Remember Linda’s story? When she purposefully pursued Christ and cultivated her love for God, her example resonated with her children. Even though their dad’s life ended in an overdose, it did not destroy her kids because of the godly foundation she had laid in their lives. And I know this can be true in your children as well.
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Meet the Author
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.
