I love what I get the opportunity to do as a ministry leader, speaker, counselor, teacher, mother, and woman of God. I love being a mom of three very different children. (Although with all of them now grown, I don’t know if I can say children anymore). I love being a wife, friend, grandmother, sister, and co-worker. I love working with churches, pastors, and those who have a heart to serve single mothers and their families. I love business consulting with those who have a God-sized vision and need strategy to fulfill it. I love traveling the country. I love working with people in deliverance and inner healing and counseling ministry. I wear many hats, all of which I am honored and happy to do. However, there have been too many times to count over the years where I worked myself into complete exhaustion and burnout in my calling. I would find myself short-tempered, rude, bitter, angry and unwilling to even share why. Frankly, there were some years, when I didn’t know what my calling was, why I was doing it, or if anyone cared to help. Burnout in ministry is a real challenge and needs to be handled appropriately.
Whether we answer to wife, mom, student, employee, pastor, or a hundred other roles, we all face common questions. Are making a difference in our world? How we can keep pushing through? Does anyone even care? Does it matter to others? Is God using me? How can I persevere during this exhaustion? Will it pass?
I’m convinced this is most true of women. Too many of us are burnt out, exhausted, and tired. We fear if we do something about it or tell others, we will be perceived as weak, less than, or imperfect. And let’s face it. That Proverbs 31 Woman had it altogether, didn’t she? I’ve been to the place of exhaustion and burnout in my calling many times. It was only when I was near drowning in my exhaustion and sought God through my desperation that He revealed 6 revelations that I’d like to share with you:
- Know your role. I am not the Holy Spirit. You are not the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the Holy Spirit! We were never called, created, or tasked with fixing anyone. Our role in others’ lives is to point them to the One who can fix them – the Lord God. When we understand that our role in life is not to be everything to everyone, we then understand that we do not have to fix the world or our kids or our coworkers. We are not in the business of fixing others. We are in the business of pointing people to the God who can. Our role in life is to continue to direct people to the Lord Jesus as their source of strength, courage, patience, and prayer answerer – not for us to be those things. We are not the answer to everyone’s problems. We do not carry the burden of everyone’s happiness. The Lord is Creator of all and He knows His children. Surrender control of your ministry, family, and all to Him.
- Rest. In the early years of my ministry, this was the hardest. I am driven, hard-working, and passionate. Single moms’ ministry keeps would often keep me up at night, as I travailed for these families in prayer and weeping. The desire to serve these families has long pulled at me, as the Holy Spirit continues to give me fresh ideas and vision. There is indeed much work to be done in ministry. But we must rest. We must take time to simply sleep, rest in the Lord, and be before Him. Our first assignment on earth is to praise ye the Lord. I first assignment is creation for worship. We cannot forsake receiving ministry from the Holy Spirit for the sake of ministering to others!
- Set boundaries. Boundaries vary widely from ministry to ministry and person to person, but the Holy Spirit should be leading and guiding our coming and going. We should know, through His prompting, when enough is enough. When should we say ‘no’ to opportunities? When should we not take the phone call? When should we take the call? When should we go to the lunch appointment for counseling versus decline? The questions about life rhythms is an important one. It is important that you find boundaries that work for you and your family, through instruction from the Lord, and understand that for your own health, you need to stick to them. Ministry will wear you out. The enemy’s plan is to take you out, so that you no longer impact others for Christ. Be mindful of his predictable strategies.
- Stay spiritually healthy. What does your prayer life look like? How does your praise and worship look? How often are you gleaning fresh manna from the Word? Are you planted in a local church that provides refreshing? Are you sitting at the feet of Jesus and just being? You cannot give, when you do not receive. Stay in God’s Word. Stay in prayer. Continue with regular church attendance. Pray without ceasing. All the things that have contributed to your Christian journey with the Lord are the things that will sustain that journey as you become an encouragement to others in ministry.
- Accountability is healthy. Your life should be structured in such a way that you are accountable to others in your life – your pastor, spouse, ministry leader, a mentor, etc. They see things that we sometimes can’t, when we are knee-deep in midst of life’s challenges. They offer perspective. They help to keep us safe. They offer wise counsel. They offer prayer and protection. Do not run from what the Lord has already set up in your life for safety and growth.
- Sabbaticals are important. Know when it is time for an extended rest. It isn’t always possible to do so immediately, but for some, it may be intentionally taking a 5 to 7 day rest from social media, work, and ministry responsibilities. For me, I have always taken extended time off work during the summer and end-of-year holiday season, when my kids are coming for visits. Ask the Lord when there may be time for a sabbatical. This allows for a time of refreshing, extended family time, and perspective.
Jennifer Maggio is the Chief Executive Officer and Founder of The Life of a Single Mom®, a national ministry dedicated to seeing no single mom walking alone. She is author to several books, including The Church & the Single Mom. She is a national business consultant, speaker, and was named one of the top 10 Most Influential People in America in 2015 and again in 2017. She has appeared in hundreds of media venues, including Focus on the Family Magazine, the 700 Club, Daystar Television, The New York Times, and more. Maggio spends many of her days praying for and counseling with single mothers nationwide. For more information, visit jennifermaggio.com.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.
