I had just settled into my seat for a short forty-five-minute flight from Las Vegas to Fresno, when I heard, “I’m going to sit right here with you.” I followed the voice up to have my eyes land on what looked like, a softer, prettier version of a real-life Cruella Deville.
Without hesitation, I immediately took this conversation up with God.
“Oh, Lord. This is the first woman you’re sending me. Aren’t you?”
You see, several months prior to this airline experience and about nine years into my single motherhood story, the Holy Spirit graced me with one of those, history in the making, moments.
Sharing that I would be introduced to women.
These key women would be younger and older than me. I would be in the middle, in both age and wisdom. Some I would give a hand up and others would lift me up.
Without a doubt, in my mind, this real-life Ms. Deville look-alike was the first. With a Godly authority, she had a presence my wild, rebel spirit—dare not cross.
Not surprisingly, our conversation went from zero to 120 in that short forty-five-minute flight. Ending with an invitation to meet on one of her return trips to Vegas.
And that, we did.
The months leading up to our dinner date…
Fear met me in the shower.
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Oddly enough, the place we enter to wash the sweat and grime from our day, had me feeling like the most unprepared failure.
Each time I entered that shower, an army of invisible militants bombarded my mind with scenes from the worst of my past choices.
Choices I was most ashamed of. Day after day, voices of my past and current friendships wrote out a script defining me as unworthy to pick up my cross and carry out a calling I had been running from.
Like too many of us, fear held me hostage.
Fear that I didn’t have what it takes to step into the role God had called me to fifteen years ago.
Fear that I was too bound to the decisions I had made.
Fear of what people would say who knew who I “really” was.
Fear has kept me from writing this.
Fear is a liar.
To me and to you.
His redemptive power.
That militant of darkness knew something I didn’t. I was about to embark on a rare experience.
In the middle of an ordinary day on a flight I had made several times, God placed in my life, not just a Cruella Deville look-alike, but a woman of stature. A woman with faith and courage enough to be used by God to set one of his children free.
She and I had met one other time and yet God, in all his graciousness, had set her in motion to do his bidding as she helped walk me out of a heavy, broken place. She opened the door for me to receive his promise. Freedom.
And one mid-September evening, in the home of a stranger, I was humbled and brought to my knees.
I wept and I mourned as the years leading up to that moment flashed through my mind.
I was finally assured…
There was no mistake in my journey. I was being healed and restored. The weight and the pain of all the years slid off my shoulders as I felt his presence pour in.
Right there, in that moment, I was being rejuvenated, repaired and restored.
What did I learn that evening more than any other day in my walk with Jesus?
That all the while I was waiting on Him to move and wondering if he would…He finally did! He was moving when I would find myself exhausted beyond measure. God would move when I would find myself broken beyond my own repair.
My friend, God shows up in our life in ways we never would imagine. To do amazing things that only he can create.
He desires us to have peace of mind, peace of heart and peace of soul.
And….just around the corner from fear is freedom.
Had I not said yes to an unscripted invite by a random stranger, I wouldn’t have the authority to authentically step into the role God had for me; a living example walking others out of the messiness of their pain and into the same freedom I experienced.
If you find yourself worn out for too long, if you are continuously weighed down with fear, guilt, shame or addictions, and you have tried too long to escape it, I promise you God didn’t intend for this to be your permanent residency.
But seek first His kingdom and righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:33)
Can you seek him with all your heart with the expectation of receiving this gift of freedom?
He sent His one and only son to pay the price for our insults, injuries and poor choices. God broke those chains. He has made the way to freedom.
Cassie Rajewich is a life coach to single moms as well as a writer and speaker of the heart. She is the creator of Unconventional Motherhood: Helping Single Moms Master the Mess. After ten years of mastering her own mess of single motherhood, she ditched the security and comfort of the life she had built, upped and left her residence of Las Vegas and made the move to Southern California where she began a new adventure, blending a family. She now helps other women navigate the sometimes difficult journey of single motherhood through her grace filled approach that develops order and organization within the heart and home.