|“While I stare the devil in the face,
I continue to pray and believe God’s
word for the change that He promised.”
~Jennifer Wendy Brown
Have you ever prayed for something and really believed it while you were praying, but after you got up off your knees or came out of your prayer closet and you looked around and the situation looked the same? Or what about when you have prayed your situation looked even worse after you prayed than it did before you prayed. What did that do to your faith? If you are anything like me, it probably made your faith a little shaky. It happens to the best of us! (Truth is…it has happened to all of us at one point or another.) This is the way I have felt when praying for my son, for many years. I have frequented this “faith rollercoaster” for many years, sometimes believing and standing on God’s word and other times looking at my son’s behavior and simply loosing hope.
His path has been hard from the beginning. I was twenty years old when I become pregnant with him and clearly didn’t want the pregnancy, the child or the father! But because it was the right thing to do, I got married when I was five months pregnant. The marriage lasted about as long as the pregnancy! Before my son’s first birthday we were already separated, living in separate homes and on our way to divorce court with no chance of reconciliation. That was the beginning of his “dead beat” disappointing dad journey. Years of broken promises, birthdays with no gifts, and lack of communication or engagement from his father. Years of me shielding him from the truth of his father and years of him making excuses for him to mask his pain and hurt. I believe that that was the beginning of the path for my son, that has caused him to have made some of the decisions he has made. From negatively influential friends, to toxic damaging romantic relationships, to fathering a child when he was only nineteen years old, to smoking weed and drinking alcohol on a regular basis.
I haven’t always been right or righteous and I haven’t always made the best decisions as a mother, but since rededicating my life back to the Lord in 2011, I learned to pray for my children. I pray for all three of my children but my prayers for my first born, who is now 23 years old, are intensified because I know what God showed me about his destiny. I call him my prodigal son because I know he is going to return to the Lord when he comes to himself. Sometimes it seems like my prayers are hitting deaf ears in heaven, because I don’t see a change. Although to this date, he has not made the decision to make Jesus his Lord yet, it is with confidence and anticipation that I write this article. While I stare the devil in the face, I continue to pray and believe God’s word for the change He promised. I stand on the promises of God and I stand on the word of God. God showed me that my son is going to preach and many young men will be transformed because of his testimony. So, when things look a little bleak and I want to give up faith, I remind myself that while he is yet out there in the world, he is simply strengthening his testimony!
Jennifer W. Brown is a mother of 3 beautiful children and has been a single mom for 10 years. Jennifer has a love for Christ that is infectious and persuasive! God has blessed her to provide mentorship and guidance to many young adult women based on the wisdom of the Word and her past experiences. Because of her passion to encourage single Christian adults and her very unique testimony, she leads a singles ministry called Single and Souled Out which encourages, educates and motivates single adults to live their best life in their single season. Jennifer is just at the commencement of her ministry and eyes have not seen and ears have not heard what God has in store for her ministry. Contact Jennifer at email@example.com.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national organization headquartered in Baton Rouge, Louisiana that focuses on seeing no single mom walk alone. The organization serves more than 50,000 single mothers annually from around the United States and more than 2,000 in Greater Baton Rouge through their support group network, outreach event, educational classes, online communities, and more. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.