I would squeeze my eyes shut and pray that God would take those thoughts away. And while I knew that prayer works, I also knew that this negative self-talk wouldn't go away if I didn't change something.
When we think about where those fears and anxieties come from around being a single mother, it's all rooted in feeling like we can't provide the best life for our child because something or someone is missing.
As we struggle to give them the best, fear and anxiety set in and present as negative self-talk.
Fighting Through The Negative Self-Talk
The truth is... it can ooze out of us and into our children without much effort.
Whenever I felt plagued by it, I used books to find positive words to give my son. You don't need to have the words yourself with children's books. A well-chosen story does the work for you.
Children's books modeling love, kindness, and happiness are compelling because they not only release you from your fear and anxiety while reading, but they also work as a tool to feed your children positive thoughts as well.
Picking up a children's Bible or book, and spending time reading to our children can replace the negative self-talk with the truth that God has declared over our lives.
EXPERIENCE LEADS TO preparedness
Before taking full advantage of what story time could be, I constantly felt anxious about not being able to prepare my son for all the things he would face: school, friendships, the real world, and his future.
What I didn't realize was that story time was helping to prepare him. A great storyline can give your child the chance to slip into another person's shoes, even just for a few minutes. The power of story is that it awakens the world around us and allows us to live out experiences and learn powerful lessons.
BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH STORIES
One of my favorite things about being a single mother is the relationship with my son. Some of our best conversations happen while reading a book.
I remember reading a book about bullying with him. He had just turned five, and we started a chapter book written in verse. I'm not sure I even got to the 3rd chapter before he began to detail about a bully at his school. It took everything in me not to crack a smile and distract him from his story.
When we take the time to read to our children and turn off the world around us, we create a space where they feel safe enough to share with us. It may not happen overnight, but over time as they begin to make connections between the stories and their own lives - it will come.
We can encourage them to make these connections by sharing stories about ourselves. Don't hide or hold back in these moments. When we begin to share stories with our children about when we were children - they feel like they've uncovered a little secret that only you all share. These moments create shared experiences and a bond that will be hard to break.
In that 20 minutes spent reading a book to your child, you've broken through your fears and fed your child light. You've allowed them to embrace a character's life and problems (only for a moment) and live out experiences that they may never have. You've taken the time to share a piece of yourself and receive a stronger bond in return.
And just like that... you are helping to shape your child's world and preparing them for life.
You've got this!
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Meet the Author
Quinn Cummings is the creator and host of the Parenting & Bonding with Children's Books podcast and community. As a single mom, she uses her passion for books to pour into her son, Aidyn. She speaks to parents on the importance of reading to our children. Her goal is to increase reading in homes throughout the globe. For resources and tips for creating a better relationship with your children through story, visit aidynsbooks.com.
The Life of a Single Mom is a national, faith-based, nonprofit that exists to see that no single mom walks alone. To date, the organization has worked with hundreds of churches to start a single mom’s support group in cities throughout the U.S. and beyond, as well as having served hundreds of thousands of single mothers with a variety of programs. Offering a large array of books, curriculum, training materials, online instructional videos, podcasts, newsletters, life skills education, and more, TLSM is one of the largest single mom organizations in the U.S. The robust selection of single mom programs focus on empowering single moms to grow spiritually, emotionally, financially, and parentally through Single Mom University, Single Moms Across America, the National TLSM Single Moms Conference, boot camps, and a variety of other programs. For more information, visit www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.
