Raising a Prince Without a King by Laveda Jones

Oh, how wonderful it was the day I held him in my arms.  I looked into his big bright eyes and promised him the world.  I imagined the perfect life for the three of us. The big house with a swing set, working from home, anticipating daily when I would hear his precious footsteps running through the house and greeting the love of my life at the front door with the aroma of dinner embracing him like a warm blanket. That’s the life my child deserved and the life I dreamt of as a child.

After a couple of years, my dreams were scattered. My hope for a perfect home was gone, and I was left alone to raise not only one son, but now two, without a father. Devastation overtook my plans. Circumstances detoured my path.  And fear gripped my mind. What will I do now?  I lost my peace, confidence, self esteem, friends, home, job and most of all the ability to stand strong. I had to learn to navigate my life with two children without a father and had very little optimism that my future would be greater than my past.

I found myself prostrate before the Lord daily, asking Him to wean me from the dependencies of the government, family and friends and to mend my brokenness.  I sought God for direction to teach me step by step how to raise my prince without a king. I didn’t want to play both roles.  I only wanted to do what I was equipped to do and I wanted to do it with the best of my abilities that would make a positive impact in my children’s lives. I wanted and needed God to permeate my entire being so that I could let go and trust Him.

As I allowed God to take control, my darkest nights brightened over time. I saw my oldest prince go from an angry, broken, competitive boy to an emotionally developed, incredible, talented and God fearing young man right before my eyes. My youngest prince was pierced with fear, low self esteem, rejection and depression, but as I continued on the path God chose for me and my family, I watched him overcome damaging obstacles that tried to destroy his future and become a young man with dreams, compassion for others and now mission focus.

Trust has become my way of life and peace my way of thinking.  Only God could give me the blue print to raising a prince without a king and only God can make promises that are never broken. He promised to be a Father to the fatherless…(psalm 68:5) and that has changed the course of my family.  We may not have a tangible king in our home, but we indeed have the help from the King of all kings.

2013-05-26T01:16:52+00:00 May 26th, 2013|Laveda Jones|26 Comments

26 Comments

  1. Sherry May 26, 2013 at 10:19 am - Reply

    Tears, many tears, as I pray that God will equip me the wisdom, the strength, and the love needed as I raise my son. Thank you for this inspirational article!

    • LaVeda May 28, 2013 at 8:09 pm - Reply

      Sheryy,

      May GOD wipe away ever tear my sister. Stay encouraged and find your continuous strength in the Lord.

  2. Sarah Carter May 29, 2013 at 4:03 pm - Reply

    Laveda, what a awesome story, I know what it is like to raise 1 alone. It can be really challenging but with God it is easier.

  3. His Beloved May 31, 2013 at 2:47 am - Reply

    As a single mother of 2, your words have inspired me and given me a sense of hope and self-worth! Thank you for sharing! May God bless and keep you! May nothing separate you and your children from Gods unfailing love! Blessings!!

  4. Singlemothersmatter June 4, 2013 at 6:28 am - Reply

    Leveda, Singlemothersmatter was greatly inspired by the words of your testimony written to inspire single mothers and we desire to share this word to as many as the Lord desires as we build our vision. We will keep you in our prayers and ask that you do the same for us as we share in the work of our Lord.

  5. Michelle Rivera June 9, 2013 at 7:17 pm - Reply

    Hi, I am raising my 16 teenager, so hard to try to follow him and understand him,, he does what he wants, does not follow my rules and does not want to go church with me anymore. He is hurting but he does not open up his heart. How to handle teenagers on our own? God is our father, my husband, my son just not want to believe it…please any suggestions??

    • Jennifer Maggio June 13, 2013 at 5:24 pm - Reply

      Michelle, the best resource I can recommend on parenting a teen is your Bible and Kids and the Single Mom: A Real-World Guide to Parenting Effectively Alone. Our founder wrote that book. You are being added to our prayer list for this week too. Blessings and thank you so much for visiting the site!

  6. susan roberts June 16, 2013 at 2:35 am - Reply

    is there a yearly conference coming up? i would love to attend a large event where i can meet all of you. i am approaching my 8000 member church, world outreach church in murfreesboro, tn about starting a single moms ministry, using everything on thelifeofasinglemom.com. we currently dont have one. pray for me!!!!

    • Jennifer Maggio June 17, 2013 at 12:34 pm - Reply

      Susan, we do conferences and events around the country. The best thing to do is to sign up for our free newsletter on our website. It has the latest info every month.

  7. Alma Henriquez June 18, 2013 at 10:52 am - Reply

    Each year, I host a Princess Ball at our Church. We have done it for the past three years, and each year it gets better! I often search for materials to present that are in line with the theme “King of King” or “Princesses”. In attendance are the all Princesses of our Church ages 5 to 99. When I came upon this particular article in the “Life of a Single Mom” page, not only was I encouraged and brought to tears, but would beg to use this for our next years’ Princess Ball theme!? 90% of our precious Princesses are single moms, have had their children as teens, and are government supported. I LOVED LOVED your prayer and the outcome, and know that this is what the Lord had in mind for each of us women’s role as mother. that role does not change because of the tragic and sad event of being left “alone” to raise children; because you see, with or without a man, our most precious possessions [besides our precious gift of eternal life in Christ Jesus] are our children; and raising them as Prince and Princesses’ in this hostile world MUST be our priority. Thank you for sharing! God Bless!

    • LAVEDA JONES August 9, 2013 at 8:18 pm - Reply

      ALMA,

      GOD BLESS YOU. WE CAN DISCUSS YOUR REQUEST TO USE MY STORY BY CALLING ME AT 847-752-0440 EXT. 500.

  8. Adrienne June 19, 2013 at 6:13 pm - Reply

    A year ago my castle crumbled and the king abdicated his crown: two princesses and four princes, and me- the broken queen of nothing. Or so I thought. My True King has provided for me beyond my wildest dreams, but there is still a little voice inside me asking “How do I teach my boys to be good MEN? I’m not qualified for that role!” I appreciate hearing from someone else who has been there. Thanks for the good word.

  9. Nicole June 27, 2013 at 2:10 pm - Reply

    Adrienne – I am living in much the same castle!! The king decided he no longer wanted the responsibility of a wife and children and would rather live a bachelor life of freedom. So, I am raising our two princes on my own now – one 16 and one 12. I am really unsure of how to lead my princes thru their teen years and into manhood when my feelings, emotions and perspective are that of a woman. I KNOW how to love them with all my heart, discipline them with love, and how to feed and house/clothe them responsibly….but I have NO IDEA how to teach them to be men. I also don’t want them to follow in their dad’s selfish footsteps or to think that his behavior is right or normal. I would love advice from others reading this who have adult male children that they raised to be godly kings on their own.

    • Jennifer Maggio June 27, 2013 at 3:48 pm - Reply

      Nicole, there are two things I would encourage you to read: Kids and the Single Mom: A Real-World Guide to Effective Parenting. My son is now 18 and I can tell you that they CAN turn out just fine! 🙂

      Also, Raising Sons as a Single Mom by Dana Chisholm is another great resource!

      Thanks for visiting our site!

  10. D'Andrea July 1, 2013 at 2:23 pm - Reply

    I literally just stumbled on this website but it fits me perfectly. I am a single mom of 5 boys. Their ages are now 25,22,20,11 and 9. Their dad left 7 years ago when they were 18,15,13,5 and 2. He couldn’t do it any more IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR HIM! We were high school sweethearts. It is a HUGE ordeal to go through and a very very very tough one and we still struggle. I also prayed God help me I can not show my boys how to be men. PLEASE HELP ME!!!! And he did just that. Even after 7 years they are still effected by him leaving, but we continuously pray for forgiveness and restoration. There was no website like this when I my husband left. I think it is a wonderful source of help and support. God Bless All of You Beautiful Ladies that are raising your babies all alone. God is standing right there and wants you to lean on him have faith in him and talk to him. He loves you so much. Trust me I know.

  11. sharon July 4, 2013 at 7:57 am - Reply

    A mum to be to a prince in the next 5 weeks. My king left because he was not ready to lose his independence as a bachelor and get tied down by a wife and a child. He says he does not think i am “good enough” to be his wife!!! Anyway, its been 3.5 long months since he walked away but God has been so good to me. He has provided for me and as i prepare for the arrival of my prince, am glad that i stumbled upon this site as i have been looking for somewhere i can get spiritual solace and acceptance. Please pray for me that i may have the wisdom to raise my prince as God would want any parent to.

    • Evelyn July 17, 2013 at 6:11 am - Reply

      Hi Sharon ,

      I too am about to be a mommy to the love of my life in 9 weeks. I married my king imagining raising our son together and growing old together. His plans were not the same as mine and he has gone to make a family somewhere else. In all this pain God, my love that grows in my tummy, this website and people like you and Ms.Laveda and all the ladies that share their experiences, keep me going and looking forward, my prince and I have a long road ahead but God is the one leading the way, and I couldn’t ask for more:) thank you for sharing!

      • LAVEDA JONES August 9, 2013 at 8:25 pm - Reply

        God bless you ladies. God will provide as he as for me. Continue with the Father and everything else will work out.

  12. Sharon July 11, 2013 at 3:25 am - Reply

    I have two teenage boys and the way you describe how your boys used to be is exactly how mine are now. I can only continue to pray my end results turn out as well as yours, but I do thank God for this article; not only did it bring me to tears but gives me hope. Thank you!

  13. Crystal July 17, 2013 at 5:04 pm - Reply

    So true and straight to the heart. I love hearing your words that as you followed the Lord, that he turned your son’s heart from sorrowful to strong. Much words of encouragement that I needed to hear as I myself am raising my son much unexpectedly by myself as well. I do believe that if we be the best Mother’s we can be in Christ, He will step in and do the rest. It is not an easy task but our little ones (and bigger ones) are very much counting on us. Take every step daily with Him and he will not leave us!

  14. Deija July 30, 2013 at 3:15 am - Reply

    I so enjoyed reading your story . I am a single mother of a boy and girl 13 and 2. It has been really hard to except the fact of me being a single mother. I had a lot of hope in a relationship that was unhealthy for my chidren and my self.i finally made the decision to no longer compromise with my feelings of loneliness and began to see myself as God saw me!! My son suffered seeing me and his far ther go back and forth for years, he was hurt in the process of our mess. But God is showing me that he is so much bigger than my past!! My son is so smart and im pray for him daily , and i starting to see changes in his attitude and hisrelationship with God. I hot pregnant with my daughter while i was still in this relationship but i decided early in my pregnancy that i was not going to put my daughter through the rollercoaster, and she is the most God fearing child you will encounter!!! I keep Isaiah 54 too my heart and continue to stand on his promise of him being my husband….please keep me in prayer.

    • LAVEDA JONES August 9, 2013 at 8:23 pm - Reply

      God bless you and I will keep you in my prayers. Be encouraged.

  15. Elizabeth Lewis November 8, 2013 at 2:01 am - Reply

    Thank You Ms Jones. I just found out my 23 yr old daughter is pregnant. I was stunned when I asked her how many months was she, she replied 9 months. She hid her pregnancy the entire time from mom, dad and her sisters. She is due to graduate this December from nursing school. I have known and loved Christ for so long. I was more upset that she could not share this news with us. I prayed and asked God why? I believe God wants us to love her even more in order that she understands there is nothing she can do that her mom and dad would stop loving her. I have told her that God loves her. Is there any advise you can give?

    • Jennifer Maggio November 8, 2013 at 4:53 pm - Reply

      Ms. Lewis, have you read Overwhelmed: The Life of a Single Mom? It is available on our site. I hid my pregnancies for 7 months and 6 months, consecutively — fearful and embarrassed. I desperately wanted the love of my parents, but felt they would be ashamed of me. I stumbled through those next several years, making tons of poor decisions.

      We suggest you connect her to a local support group in her church. If you email us her zip code at info@thelifeofasinglemom.com, we’ll see what we can find.

      Thanks for visiting the site.

  16. Christine Welch June 17, 2014 at 12:32 pm - Reply

    LaVeda Jones has taken her story and in turn is a blessing to single parents that may feel lost, uncertain, scared, defeated. Her story isn’t finished for she has a purpose that is an inspiration and helps develop, strengthen and guide men, women and children through the difficulties of being a single parent – but guided by faith in God that all is well.

    May God continue to bless you LaVeda. Blessings to you, your words, your life that you continue to hear God’s calling and continue to reach outward to help others in your life journey here on earth.

  17. Chante Hawkins November 5, 2014 at 9:47 pm - Reply

    What an awesome testimony to God’s grace, his love, his passion for you, for all of us. It gets so dark in the wilderness of the unknown. Is it not amazing how so many of share the same story. Not to piggy-back of your reflection on your experience, but to not how great minds think alike. I have always seen my life as a single mother, of at one time 2, and then 3 boys, and now I have a fourth, as raising nations. Each one of my boys will grow to lead their own kingdom and they must learn from God and his entrusted partners, you and I. God has a plan. His ways are not our ways, his vision is not our vision until he gives it us, then we understand and would not have it any other way. Amen. You are blessed, and are a blessing. Thank you for sharing, and inspiring us all, LaVeda.

Leave A Comment