At The Life of a Single Mom Ministries, we recognize that holidays can be a difficult time for anyone, but particularly if you are parenting alone. Our hope, as an organization, is to equip you with tools that will encourage you along your journey.
If not careful, Father’s Day for a single mom can be a disaster. What is often a celebration in May on Mother’s Day can become a tragedy in June on Father’s Day, unless we are mindful of our thoughts and actions. Mother’s Day is a celebration of all things mom. It is a time to focus on the great mothers in our lives – mom, grandmother, sister, friend, or aunt. It is a time to give thanks to God for those precious kids he has blessed us with.
Sadly, Father’s Day can be a time for single moms to focus on lack, e.g. lack of an active father in their children’s lives, lack of what you had hoped would be a forever-marriage, etc. Now, of course, this isn’t all single mothers, but if you do happen to find yourself there today, here are a few tips to encourage you:
– Focus on what you do have. Maybe your children do not have an active father in their lives. Do they have a male mentor? A grandfather? A youth group leader? A pastor? A neighbor? Choose to focus on the positive male role models in your children’s lives and honor them. And if there is a shortage of male role models, we can absolutely turn the focus on an amazing Heavenly Father!
– Your Heavenly Father fills the gap. Maybe Father’s day is hard, because you know that you couldn’t possibly fill the role of mom and dad… and frankly, you are exhausted from trying! Know that God is an amazing Father and he is strong, where we are weak. He can and will fill in the gaps in your home, in your children’s lives, and in your weaknesses.
– Don’t discount the value of your child’s father. Okay, so this one is a toughie. Maybe your child’s father isn’t Father of the Year. Maybe you are really struggling with forgiveness, because there have been times (maybe many), when your children have been disappointed by a missed visit or broken promise. If their father is in their life, even if the situation isn’t great, choose to honor their father’s position in their life. Your children love their dad, even if he has made some poor choices and disappointed them, and even if they are older and act out! He is part of them. And there is little worse you could do than destroy their father verbally in front of them. Choose the high road, even if the same courtesy hasn’t been done to you. God (and your children) will honor you for it.
– Be active today. Maybe your children are with their father today and you are alone. Do something worthwhile. Invite friends over for a barbecue. Read a good book, that you wouldn’t otherwise have enjoyed with the kiddos there. Clean out a flower bed or rearrange your living room. Don’t sit by and let the day pass you by, feeling sorry for yourself. The same can be true, if your children aren’t with their dad. Choose to make this day a great one!
TLSM is a national nonprofit organization that exists to serve single parents and those who work with single parents. They have provided services to mores than 1,500 families in Greater Baton Rouge and 46,000 nationally. They have been recognized for their expansive work in several media venues including the New York Times, Power Women, Daystar Television, Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk, and many others.