We mom better when we mom together.
It took me many years to learn that truth. I, like many other moms, carried friendship baggage from middle school relationships gone bad. To be honest, I had more “guy friends” than “girlfriends” growing up because I found guy friendships to be much less complicated that female friendships.
That worked fine until I became a mom.
That’s when I desperately longed to know I wasn’t the only mom who drove all the way across town without buckling my daughter’s carseat into the car. I wanted to know I wasn’t the only mom who had fed her family cereal for dinner. I needed to be with other women who understood what my life was like. Where does one begin to build her mom tribe?
In today’s social media driven society, we’re experts at touching screens and amateurs at touching lives. We love Snapchat and Facebook but struggle with a phone chat and face to face conversations. Understanding this, we may have to push through awkward to get to a new normal. We need to be doing life together far more often than most of us are.
Here are three ways to start momming together:
Invite. Invite another mom out for coffee. Invite a friend to come over or meet you and the kids at a park for a playdate. Invite a mom you’d like to get to know better over for a “freezer meal party” where you put together five meals each to put in the freezer.
Trade. A single mom trading with another single mom can give both moms some much-needed respite. Trade childcare so you can each grocery shop alone. Trade “days off” so you can have some much needed down time.
Co-op. What are you doing alone that you could be doing together? I know two moms who co-op housecleaning. They alternate three hours on Saturday each week to help each other keep up with the house. When we band together, we lighten the load for both of us!
Hang. I know two single moms who hung together on Friday nights for years. Every Friday night they had “junk food night” where the moms and kids spent the evening together. They ate popcorn, pizza, or whatever was easy or sounded good (this is why they dubbed it “junk food” night). This built a sense of family between these two women and their kids.
Ask. One of the biggest benefits of having a tribe is being able to access the strengths of other women to fill in your gaps. Need help organizing, decorating, or creating a budget? Ask a friend who’s better at it than you are. You’ll get the help you need and will likely strengthen your relationship at the same time!
Motherhood is not a solo opportunity. It’s best done with others. Take a step in the right direction today: Invite. Trade. Co-op. Hang. Ask.We mom better when we mom together.
Jill Savage speaks to audiences of thousands and is the author of twelve books including Better Together, No More Perfect Moms and No More Perfect Kids. She’s the founder of Hearts at Home (www.HeartsatHome.org), a ministry for moms. Her biggest accomplishment? Being a mom to five beautiful children and Nana to three precious grandbabies. Jill Savage encourages tens of thousands each year through her speaking and writing. Why is she so successful? Because she’s just one of us — a mother trying to make it through each day with the challenges life can present to us. Jill and her family live in an old farmhouse in Normal, IL, where she admits that she burns bacon on a regular basis.